In case you’ve missed it, Steven Seagal’s put on a few pounds and now stars in a reality show called Steven Seagal: Lawman, which chronicles his adventures serving as a Reserve Deputy in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana. Much of the otherwise terrible show’s reason for being is the occasional banter between the criminals and the now-pudgy Seagal, which regularly involves handcuffed tangos mocking Seagal’s martial arts abilities or, more commonly, his movies. It’d be cruel if they weren’t so right. Under Seige 2, anyone?
If you want to see truly boring police work in action (there’s literally a sequence in which Seagal paints a house, and another in which he pulls over someone with a licensed firearm who just needs to be…released), you can watch full episodes here. More importantly, you can find the rules to the official Steven Seagal: Lawman drinking game right here, which is probably the only motivation you’ll have to get through a whole show.
The best rule: 2 drinks for “every time a chase scene is cut to show Steven Seagal running then another cop catching the suspect.”






























