What is it that men don’t understand about socks? There is nothing – nothing — worse than seeing ankle or a hairy calf when a man in a suit or trousers sits down. Instant turn-off for the fairer sex. Business-deal killer. Low-class. Hayseed. Just sartorially wrong. Of course ankle length socks are cheaper, but they don’t cover the lower leg as hosiery should.
Now, in most matters regarding apparel I am a big fan of natural fibers – wool, cotton and so on. Not when it comes to socks. An elastic fiber of some type is necessary. Socks must be at least an 18-percent synthetic blend to insure they don’t droop, because droopy socks that show calf are worse than short socks that do the same. Nerdier. So Pee wee Herman. So…. Eliot Spitzer.
Client Number nine — AKA the Steamroller — denied he cavorted with prostitutes clad in mid-calf length black hose in a weird interview just last week . In it, he dissed his wife — whom frankly I’d like to bang, big-time — in essence saying he went looking for “strange” because after 25 years with the wife the thrill is gone. While this may be true, why would anyone but a heel say so? After all the wife — who is a looker — hung in with him.
I first reported Spitzer’s predilection for frolicking with paid babes in his black knee socks in a letter to the FBI on November 19, 2007. The New York Post reported that the FBI had confirmed the Governor’s black socks fetish from a second hooker on April 24, 2008.
Kristin Davis, the busty businesswoman who went from managing Hedge Funds to founding and running the most successful multi-million dollar “Escort Service” in the history of the world because she found it more lucrative, said Spitzer’s black socks were a running joke among all of the ladies who booked the time with Client Number 9 through Davis. “One girl said if it was based on size they should have called him Client number three,” Davis told me. The canny entrepreneur has kept audio tapes of some of her top girls talking after they romped with Prince Eliot. They all mention the droopy socks.
Davis says it’s a fetish she’s seen before. “It’s about the power of the high powered business executive over the lowly office girl,” says Davis “It’s power thing.” Or maybe he thought he might have to leave in a hurry. Either way, black socks with visible calves are never in fashion, in the bordello or out.
Roger Stone is one of America’s best dressed men. His musings on politics, fashion, food and culture can be read at www.stonezone.com