Playtime waivers a new level of ridiculous

Let’s get back to my friend, Mary, and that waiver. She shared this much: “I understand that during participation [in the activities], I may be exposed to psychologically and physically stressful and challenging situations….The child recognizes that attending this party can be a ‘strenuous endeavor requiring good physical condition’ and admonishes the child to obey all posted warnings during the fun.” More than that, and I would have resorted to the Bailey’s to quiet my nerves.

I have some questions. First, how is a child in second grade supposed to read and understand this? (The waiver does address the child in the first person.) And second, what the heck game are they playing that is “psychologically and physically stressful and challenging?” Is this Navy SEALs training or a birthday party for 7-year-olds? I want to meet second-graders who can give me an example of a “psychologically and physically stressful and challenging situation.” Then again, maybe I don’t.

I’m wondering what the posted warning signs indicate to the children, who may or may not have the reading skills required to obey the messages. I’m also wondering who determines the children who are in “good physical condition” and may take part in the “strenuous endeavor.”

The answer is obvious. Enlightened parents are supposed to discuss and share a “teachable moment” with their child about the waiver and what it means. After thoughtful and empathetic discussion, they will eventually compel their child to embrace and yes, welcome, the psychological and physical challenges the party represents. With little or no (obvious) force, they will exact a pledge from the child that he or she will sail through these strenuous endeavors with grace, determination and the will to succeed.

Perfect. Couple of tweaks to that insanity and there it is: the seeds of a killer college application essay. It’s never too soon to start over-thinking stuff like this.

Renee James writes social commentary and keeps track of the things that mystify her on her blog: “It’s not me, it’s you.”Her email address is raaj3@msn.com.