Massa of his domain: Political intrigue and tickling

Per interviews, Massa spent several vividly memorable years “on a ship with 10,000 men.” Massa probably left the Navy after his dream of being a Rear Admiral was crushed; he learned that it was an actual high-ranking command position.

Nanny “Swamp Boss” Pelosi was slow to react to the Massa situation, citing an ethics investigation. The Democrats have had ongoing “ethics investigations” into both Massa and Charlie “Weekend at Benefactors” Rangel. Pelosi found it hard to act on the ethics investigations, since not a trace of actual ethics has been uncovered.

To Pelosi, who represents transvestites and dominatrix’s interests in her San Francisco district, accusations against Massa probably seem like a Norman Rockwell painting to her.

Maybe Pelosi can use Massa to tickle terrorists for information instead of the method she abhors, water-boarding. It would fit right in to her oh-so cute stance on national defense.

I wonder if Rahm Emanuel-Lewis and the Democrats would have outed him if Massa had agreed to vote for ObamaCare?  I too wonder if Rahm had not walked up to him naked in the Congressional shower and blasted him for his vote would we have even heard about this? Talk about knowing your target and working the swing vote! Clearly the accomplishments of Barney Frank, pushing sub-prime loans and removing the curtains from the men’s shower, will weigh heavy on history if ObamaCare passes.

I admire Rahm’s moxie and wish he was on the right side of the issues. I just don’t think our Founding Fathers envisioned votes swayed while two men were naked. But then again, they did wear silk pedal-pusher Capri pants and frilly shirts.

Like Eliot Spitzer, I predict Massa will make a comeback. He might plead the case that he was fiscally conservative while in Congress and saved the country money on bookmarks by bending over pages.

A syndicated libertarian op-ed humorist, Hart’s columns appear in 40 papers nationwide. His recent book is available on Amazon or at www.RonaldHart.com. His email is Ron@RonaldHart.com