Hey Barry, how about throwing me a bone?

I was greeted by yet another headline in Friday’s Washington Post that points to another bailout for homeowners: “Obama administration announces effort to slash mortgages for unemployed borrowers.”

It seems that the president is deeply concerned about another wave of foreclosures that could damage an already weak economy. He is going to require banks to temporarily lower or outright eliminate monthly mortgage payments for many borrowers who are unemployed. How nice of him. What a good guy. Golly, does he have a heart or what!

So, since POTUS is in such a charitable mood, I’d like to request that he call my bank and ask them to do a little slashing or eliminating work on my mortgage. I know I have a job and POTUS is really only interested in the unemployed, but I have feelings too. Can’t we overlook the fact that I’ve actually been paying my mortgage AND my taxes (please dear reader, don’t hold that against me), and let me into the program?

C’mon Barack (Joe Biden calls him Barack in public so I’m just assuming POTUS is okay with the first name basis thing), how about spreading the wealth my way? After all, I’ve got a wife and four kids. With all of the food, clothing, Catholic school tuition, and sports equipment, don’t I fit into some niche that would qualify for a little mortgage reduction? No joke—it’s a big friggin’ mortgage.

Doesn’t paying all of my taxes get me anywhere? Heck, if you total up federal, state and local taxes, I paid over 50 percent of my income to taxes in 2009. And I don’t mind saying that the actual dollar figure could choke a horse. But even though I have a job and made money last year, don’t I deserve a little love? After all, I’m a veteran! Isn’t there some clause in some regulation somewhere in the millions of pages of regulations that would get me a little help? Some fine print in the subsection of a subsection? Throw me a bone Barry.

How about this angle? A bunch of houses in my ZIP code have been foreclosed on, dramatically driving down the value of my home (tell me that doesn’t suck). So the new home I bought in October (to fit my rather large family) has already lost about $100K in value. I mean, holy crap! That’s a lot of coin. If it drops any lower won’t I be, technically speaking, upside down (ignore the inconvenient fact that I only bought as much house as I could afford and the fact that I have a job and can afford the mortgage)? Shouldn’t that get me into the bailout?

I’m not unsympathetic to the people who, by no fault of their own, got laid off. But how many times are we going to bail them out on their mortgages while the rest of us pay full fare? Admit it Barry, a slew of these people have already had their mortgages modified in the first round of bailouts.

I didn’t cause the economic meltdown that has forced businesses across America to cut payroll. In fact, there’s plenty of people who deserve some blame for this economic mess we’re in, but I’m just not one of them. But I do blame you Barry. I blame you, Hank Paulson, Ben Bernanke, Timmy Geithner, AIG, Countrywide, Fannie, Freddie, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank (and all the other sub-prime deniers in Congress). And I really resent that you continue to point the finger at me and tell America that I’m just not paying my fair share and plan on raising my taxes. Dude, really. I’m no fat cat. I actually work for a living. In fact, I’ve been working my entire life. The fact that I’ve had success has absolutely nothing with your leftist class warfare propaganda. I didn’t, as Dick Gephardt used to say, “win life’s lottery.” I’ve earned every last nickel.

For ten years, we lived in a small townhouse despite all of the “encouragement” we received from bank after bank telling us that we could afford a lot more house. It was only when we were about to have our fourth child that we made the decision to look for a bigger place. But as with our first home, we bought within our comfort level, not what the banks told us we could afford. You see Barry, I need to sleep at night. I need to know that if I go through some lean financial times, that I can afford the mortgage. I only buy what I can afford. I have no credit card debt—that’s right, zero. Our only debt is our mortgage and one car payment—but of course, I own more of the car than I financed, so that’s an asset too. Get the picture Barry? I’m not one of the people who overextended during the boom times. I act responsibly despite the apparent stupidity of it.

  • Heiko

    Would you like a little cheese with your whine?

  • mdoggie

    According to Mr. Corallo’s own website,
    called “a ‘street-smart’ Republican spin doctor” by National Journal, Mark Corallo is a veteran communicator with extensive experience in the high-pressure, high-stakes world of Washington, DC media affairs.

    As founder of Corallo Comstock, Inc., and a member of the Ashcroft Group network, he draws on his experience on Capitol Hill, in the Executive branch, and on the campaign trail, to advise Fortune 500 companies and high-profile business and political leaders.

    Since 2005, Mark has advised and represented a diverse range of clients including the Recording Industry Association of America and the Motion Picture Association of America in the landmark Supreme Court case MGM v. Grokster, Hewlett Packard, Microsoft, and YAHOO! Mark has handled a wide range of issues from intellectual property rights to Supreme Court litigation and high-stakes litigation.

    This is a bullshit Repuli-spin article which tries to have sympathy for the rich who pay less taxes now than those forty years ago, and continues the line of marginalizing the lower income as idiots or unworthy by using words such as “expanding a welfare state”. Thanks, heartless republican spin doctor, for your extremely hateful rhetoric.

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  • qofdisks

    We have come to an unsustainable capitalist system where bills for provision of human necessity marches on at a steady tick but employment and income has become hit and miss and often inadequate. The wealth stripping carried out by the 2% at the top has created an unsustainable economy that will result in third world conditions and instability in our United States of America. Our nation has come to such an imbalance of wealth that the middle class is collapsing. Globalization has created a wage and human rights race to the bottom. Expertise and the cultivation of expertise and even the respect for expertise is rapidly being extinguished in our nation. Only the predators of suspect character and integrity survive in our economy. Coming up with ways to fleece people and take credit and compensation for other people’s work and creativity has become the most valued occupation an American can hope to aspire to. The actual creators and hard workers can expect to remain constantly living on edge without medical or financial security all their lives. The people who actually do the work of maintaining our civilization can hardly hope that their children will have the opportunity to live secure and fulfilling lives.
    Shelter, sir, is a basic human need and it has been manipulated for the purpose of wealth stripping.