Keith Olbermann is a giant baby: We watch, because we’re paid to

TUESDAY, APRIL 20: Tuesday’s “Countdown” aired just a few hours after the controversial afternoon show that would see Donnie Deutsch dismissed the following day. In the lead-up to a totally unrelated segment, Olbermann bragged mysteriously about spending the day “cleaning up the office here.” (He had also tweeted Tuesday afternoon that it was a “busy day in the office.”) Was he claiming responsibility for Deutsch’s dismissal? If so, why did he huffily write to the New York Times on Wednesday, saying “Your account is entirely untrue. Your e-mail is the first I am hearing of any of this. What I know of what happened is this: [MSNBC president] Phil Griffin phoned me yesterday enraged at what was on that show and I didn’t disagree with him.”

So, which is it, Keith? Did you passively receive a phone call, or did you actively maneuver to have Deutsch removed? And if you simply received a call from your boss, then what did you mean by “cleaning up the office”? If you have any cleaning tips, please pass them my way. I’m having a tough time keeping the tile in my shower mildew-free and could really use your expertise.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 21: The long-suffering Lawrence O’Donnell took over tonight’s show, and he held his own with his usual Olbermann Lite aplomb. He ended the night by spending at least five long minutes simply replaying a “Daily Show” bit making fun of Fox News. I guess that’s the kind of thing you have to do when you’re preparing an hour long show on the fly because the usual anchor has suddenly decided he needs to get a colonoscopy, which he couldn’t find time for on a weekend, or when he skipped work last Thursday, or during his absence the entire month of March.

Keith, I hope your freshly examined rear end is back in the “Countdown” anchor chair as soon as possible. I enjoy making jokes about your butt, but I really prefer making you the butt of the joke. Anyway, you need that thing in fighting shape so you can get back to talking out of it every night. Well, not EVERY night, obviously – just on the rare occasions when you’re not too angry to get off it and come to work.

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