Grayson’s greatest hits: As the congressman comes under fire (again), The DC replays his chart-topping statements

It’s been a tough few weeks for Rep. Alan Grayson of Florida’s 8th District. First, Daniel Webster, former speaker of the Florida statehouse, entered the race as a potential opponent. Then the FEC ruled that mycongressmanisnuts.com, a site critical of Grayson, isn’t violating any rules. Now the Democrat is coming under fire for a financial connection to the Florida Tea Party.

With his national political prospects fading, it’s a good time to recognize the man’s greatest moments in Washington and on the airwaves:

1. Cheney is a vampire

“I have trouble listening to what he says sometimes, because of the blood that drips from his teeth while he’s talking,” Grayson said on the Chris Matthews show. “But my response is this: He’s just angry because the president doesn’t shoot old men in the face. But by the way, when he was done speaking, did he just then turn into a bat and fly away?”

Matthews, not exactly a right winger, couldn’t believe his ears: “Oh, god … We’ve got to keep a level here.”

2. Your endorsement could get my kids kidnapped

The Orlando Weekly retracted its endorsement of Grayson after he e-mailed a complaint about being described as a “millionaire Washington, D.C., attorney.”

“I’m not too thrilled with ‘millionaire,’ either, but at least that’s accurate,” he wrote. “If our home is burglarized or our children kidnapped, of course, then I’ll blame you for that. Thanks for the endorsement.”

3. Gas would be cheaper if President Bush had gone to “second base” with Saudi leader

Defending President Obama’s bow to the emperor of Japan, Grayson pointed out to Chris Matthews that Bush also made gestures to foreign leaders.

“I remember Bush Junior kissing Prince Abdullah on the cheek, and then holding his hand for an extended period of time,” he said. “Maybe if he’d let him get to second base, then gasoline would be a dollar a gallon.”

Oh, and he told Cheney to “STFU,” too.

4. The GOP health-care plan is simple — die quickly

On the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives, Grayson summarized his view of the Republican health-care plan, complete with a poster board display.

“Here it is, the Republicans’ health-care plan for America: don’t get sick,” he said. “If you get sick, America, the Republican health-care plan is this: Die quickly.”

5. Bernanke’s staff member is a “K Street whore”

On a syndicated talk show, Grayson vented about his knowledge of economics in comparison to a Federal Reserve adviser.

“Here I am, the only member of Congress who actually worked as an economist, and this lobbyist, this K Street whore, is trying to teach me about economics,” he said.

6. Satan may have written the intro to Cheney’s book

Grayson said Cheney was trying to use the spotlight to promote his book tour, but really, would he need to if he had the prince of darkness on his side?

“I wonder who’s doing the introduction to his book?” Grayson told Ed Schultz. “Maybe it’s Mephistopheles. Maybe it’s Satan.”

7. Palin is a migratory bird

After Palin made remarks critical of Grayson, he quipped in a campaign e-mail, “As the Knave’s horse says in Alice in Wonderland, ‘dogs will believe anything.'”

Then he called Palin with a migratory bird.

“Scientists are studying Sarah Palin’s travel between Alaska and Florida carefully. They hope to learn more about the flight patterns of that elusive migratory species, the wild Alaskan dingbat.”

  • monkeysuit

    Not that I agree with him but some of those were actually pretty funny.


  • obladioblada

    But the Republicans were going to discipline Barton for calling the BP deal a shake-down. Pathetic.

  • jeffersonian

    This guy and keith olbermann try soooooo hard to be clever, witty, even interesting….and it just isn’t happening…..whoa! If I were king, or an seiu goon, I could put them in a place where they’d have to talk to each other….and listen to al franken and chris mathews……

  • Amazingoly

    Only 5 more months to put up with this Florida jerk.

  • kurlis

    What’s funny is Grayson actually thinks he’s clever, brainy and intellectual.

  • misanthropicus

    The American version of mister Galloway, MP – and he also reminds me (a Los Angeles dweller) of Pete “peeing” Stark of California (D, obviously)-
    Still, it’s sad to see from what gooey cesspools the American political system is drawing (some) of its components –
    To speak about dba Obama… well, it would be superfuous…

    Bellow is the link for Strak’s peeing on constituency incident – jerks like Grayson and Stark confirm the idea that the Democrat party is indeed an all-inclusive tent –


  • april

    “emotionally unstable.”

    I think that says it best about this guy. It amazes & saddens me at the same time how people like him get elected and actually voted for…..

    • BigRmv

      Says it best? I think it’s the best thing you can say about this guy. Picture him and Pelosi married and living in the same house…wouldn’t that make a whacky sitcom?

  • libertyatstake

    Grayson and Franken – true statesmen! And it’s alliterative assonance, too! Yay!

    [For a light hearted take on our present peril]

  • therewd

    “Vampires, whores and Satan”

    Just another day at the Grayson home.

  • knowknees

    South Carolina’s Alvin Greene comes of as a nuclear physicist compared to this whack job.