You might be a socialist if…

“That’s just name-calling,” she objected.  We were discussing the President’s competencies (and lack thereof) and I’d commented that we should hardly expect leadership from a Socialist law professor with little or no leadership experience.

“There are plenty of folks who consider a law professor to be an honorable undertaking,” I replied.

“You know what I mean,” she responded.  “Obama’s no Socialist and calling him one is pejorative – like calling him a Communist.”

“So far, at least, he’s not a Communist.  But he is a Socialist because of the State control-oriented policies he advocates and works hard to implement.”

Universal health care, punitive tax rates, hyper-regulation, salary caps in the private sector, government as the solution, not the problem – my list did not convince her.

“You just disagree with his positions, so you call him a ‘Socialist’,” she concluded.  “Anyway, Capitalism hasn’t worked so well, so perhaps it time we let the government try its hand.”  And what do we call the ‘ism’ where the government uses its hand to smack around its citizens?

I suppose the good news here is that this woman of the Left still considers “Socialist” to be an epithet.  Of course, the bad news is that Socialist policies don’t seem to bother her.  I suspect this is because she – and many Americans who think like her – have less an idea what Socialism is or how it debilitates then know how to program their old VCR recorder.  So, with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I suggest a reading of the following survey to help recognize the inner Socialist:

If you believe Greece is “poorly-managed” Socialism and Sweden is “well-run” Socialism and you don’t realize that the Swedes are sliding down the same Greece-y slope, you might be a Socialist.

If you believe anyone clever enough to be elected to political office is thus qualified to run a profitable business better than an executive hired by that business, you might be a Socialist.

Indeed, if you believe any government official, by virtue of being a government official, can do anything better than the non-government folks whose livelihoods depend upon the doing, you might be a Socialist.

If you believe “good enough for government work” is a compliment reserved for quality service performed to the most rigorous standards and with the utmost professionalism, you might be a Socialist.

If you believe “America the Beautiful” would be true if only the U.S. was more like France, you might be a Socialist.

If you think the UN’s founding was what made 1945 a memorable year, you might be a Socialist.

If you think the UN’s existence has ushered in 65 years of peace and harmony, you wouldn’t know peace or harmony if it bit you on the nose or kicked you in the groin.