DC Trawler

Ask Matt Labash… I did!

This week’s Labash column is very special, because he finally answers one of my questions. For the past week I have been troubled by strange and violent dreams, and my every waking moment has been spent in fear of this man:

YouTube Preview Image

This is the gut-stomping badass who said: “Find a rightwinger’s [sic] and smash it through a plate-glass window. Take a snapshot of the bleeding mess and send it out in a Christmas card to let the right know that it needs to live in a state of constant fear. Obviously I mean this rhetorically.”

This is the human weapon who said: “If the right forces us all to either defend [Rev. Jeremiah] Wright or tear him down, no matter what we choose, we lose the game they’ve put upon us. Instead, take one of them — Fred Barnes, Karl Rove, who cares — and call them racists.

This is the killing machine who told a former Israeli diplomat: “Lenny Ben-David, you and I will meet someday, face to face. I hope it comes very soon. I promise you it will be an unforgettable experience.

This is the thugged-out motherf***er who asked: “DC tweeps: anyone ever gotten a cracked windshield fixed? Got a garage you’d recommend?

This is the dude you don’t want to mess with.

Labash messes with him.

Nice knowing you, Labash.

P.S. “Juicebox Mafia” is good, but I’ve always preferred calling them “Jim Henson’s Pundit Babies.”

  • DaveT3000

    OMG that is the scariest lanyard-wearing mofo I have ever seen OMG

  • stickeenotes

    Okay, who gave the Starschmucks barista a blog? Tell him and the rest of the guys in the java juice mafia that the mean streets of dupont circle have an expiration date.

  • Pingback: The Blast

  • tockfield

    What a DWEEB!!!

    Treacher, would you consider taking him on a “celebrity” boxing match for charity?

  • australopithecus

    Wait a minute. I see Eric Roberts in the background. This looks like the clip from “Sharktopus” where the local yokel big man is in the bar boasting to all his buddies how he’ll “make gumbo out of that friggin’ fish”. Unfortunately he’s the one who is brought back as juice in a box. The reviewer at Wired was really impressed with the CGI in the fight scene.

  • slightlyaboveaverage

    You know… @ackerman brought this on himself, so I won’t shed any tears for the treatment he is now receiving here.

    But what did haiku ever do to Labash?
    Why does haiku deserve to get smacked around and smashed through a plate-glass window, the way Labash does?

    Maybe Labash doesn’t LIKE haiku because he CAN’T haiku!

    Leave haiku alone!
    What has haiku done to you?
    Stop bringin’ the hate!


  • motionview

    Could somone please get Penny a box to stand on so we can see him while he’s squeaking?