All Shook Up

Sitting in beach chairs sipping Margaritas on a recent trip, Dr. Boom Beaty suggested that I use an extra-long straw so as not to inadvertently do a sit up. The man is always thinking. And, judging by the size of the average American these days, folks are listening.

In his final bit of advice, he refers to medical facts obtained from a non-cited international study in Gross Generalizations, a supplement to his Gross Anatomy Illustrated monthly medical magazine.  It offers some conclusions on all those nutritional studies that compare Americans to the rest of the world:

Fact: Hispanics eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than we do.

Fact: Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than we do.

Fact: Germans drink a lot of beer and eat sausages and have fewer heart attacks than Americans.

Conclusion: drink and eat whatever you want. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

I am proud of all of my kids and happy that my daughter will take on the noble calling of being a physician. She always wanted to be a doctor and even dressed up as one as a child.  Her timing was good since under ObamaCare, kids who want to “play doctor” will have to wait four years to make an appointment to seek approval from a bureaucracy in D.C.—presumably chaired by Al Gore, Bill Clinton or John Edwards.

Ron Hart is a syndicated op-ed humorist, author and TV/radio commentator. Email Ron@RonaldHart.com or at visit RonaldHart.com