Keith Olbermann, we like you (or we’re trying to, anyway): We watch, because we’re paid to

Week after week, I come here to bury Keith Olbermann, not to praise him. I mock his opinions, his verbal tics, his pompous demeanor and his orange face. But just for kicks, I’m going to try something different this week and see if I can find something to celebrate about this sad, angry little man who is wrong about everything.

Whoops! Off on the wrong foot. Trying again: I’m going to see if I can find something to celebrate about this human male who has a television show. Best I can do. Baby steps!

FRIDAY, AUGUST 13: Ok, tonight Olbermann engaged in a fairly detailed discussion (for Olbermann) about the insurance industry with guest, Wendell Potter, a former insurance industry executive and current senior fellow at the Center for Media and Democracy. Olbermann’s main concern seemed to be the “medical-loss ratio,” which concerns the percentage of health-insurance premiums that insurers are mandated to spend on “medical services” rather that administrative costs or profit. This is pretty technical territory for a guy who usually prefers shouting paranoid monologues to imaginary tormentors.

Don’t worry, there was plenty of paranoia. Olbermann’s introduction warned that “As we speak, the nation‘s state insurance commissioners are meeting in Seattle, and a horde of lobbyists from the insurance companies is descending on them. Their goal: to game the system.”

Potter pointed out that he was present at the meeting as an invited consumer advocate, and that “I think the insurance commissioners are listening to us.” Well, that’s no fun. And sure enough, in case you were curious about the outcome of all this nefarious lobbying, the insurers lost out and liberal lobbyists triumphed. Sorry, sorry, liberal grassroots organizers won. (Remember the iron-clad rule of left-wing punditry: Conservatives have mustache-twirling lobbyists; liberals have grassroots organizers.)

Ok, this segment sounds pretty useless and obnoxious after all. But, in my quest to find something positive to say about each episode of “Countdown” this week, I must point out that it was vaguely about the topic of fiscal responsibility, which we can all agree is good. Stay tuned next week for a follow-up in which Olbermann gets really indignant about the efficiency with which your tax dollars are being spent!

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MONDAY, AUGUST 16: Tonight (and tomorrow), Olbermann complained about the position his ex-girlfriend, Laura Ingraham, has taken in opposition to the proposed mosque in downtown Manhattan. Very mature.

Moving on, the increasing difficulty in telling the difference between Olbermann’s “Oddball” and “Worst Persons in the World” segments got worse tonight. “Oddball” is supposed to cover weird news stories from all over the world that just happen to have a video component, like Kansas mayonnaise-eating contests and Peruvian running-around-in-circles festivals. I’d say about 92 percent of “Oddball” segments can be reduced to “Look at those crazy people who don’t live in New York City or Washington, D.C.!”

By contrast, “Worst Persons in the World” is supposed to cover, well, the worst people in the world — often Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh, because in Olbermann’s world, cable-television hosts are the most influential people imaginable. Well, tonight, the bronze for Worst Person in the World went to a bear. “Bubba the Bear” has apparently been breaking into homes in Nevada, and, in Olbermann’s words, leaving “stinky basketball-sized deposits” behind. Recently a homeowner tried to shoot him, but the bullet did no damage.

Let’s see, a lonely lumbering creature, impervious to attacks, who comes into people’s homes and leaves a lingering stench … Remind you of anyone we know?

Ahem. Staying positive. Bear stories … can … be … funny. There, I did it.