The Oval Office goes frat house chic

OK, OK, enough with the negative energy.  Maybe the new furniture just doesn’t photograph well.  Therefore, I’m going to look on the bright side of this refurbishing.  After all, if you can’t say anything nice…

The first positive aspect of the room:  The big accent pillows are perfect for late night Oval Office pillow fights with the Secretary of State.

Second positive point: The bowl of apples front and center on the coffee table is functional and practical!  It conjures up that whole “American as apple pie” thing and it offers a healthy snack for visiting dignitaries (and/or first daughters) to munch on in-between peace-making sessions and state dinners.

Third, garage sale entrepreneurs nationwide are about to get a boon in their business as everyone races to redesign their homes so they can keep up with the Obamas.

And, a bonus point of light: The side lamps are a lovely shade of Barbara Bush blue.

Personally though, I’m holding out for the revelation that this was all set up for a special reboot of Punk’d.  Picture it: The Obamas return from Martha’s Vineyard anticipating their beautiful new Oval Office only to look in sheer horror at the third-rate motel lobby arrangement they find.  Then, after a moment or two, and a few heads rolling, Ashton Kutcher jumps out from behind the survivor of this titanic overhaul, the Resolute desk, announcing “You just got PUNK’D, man” while fist-bumping POTUS and FLOTUS.

Laughter all around, and scene.

John Schlimm is a member of one of the oldest brewing families in the United States, meaning he sees life through sudsy, gold-colored glasses. A former celebrity publicist, educator, and artist, John is the award-winning author of several books, including his latest, Harrah’s Entertainment Presents…The Seven Stars Cookbook as well as The Ultimate Beer Lover’s Cookbook (named “Best Beer Book in the U.S.” and “Best Beer Book in the World” by the international Gourmand Awards). Join John on Facebook and Twitter.