Keith Olbermann has a strange obsession with laughing at humiliated female models: We watch, because we’re paid to

This week in “Countdown” taught us that Keith Olbermann is brilliant and everyone else — women, religious people, Rupert Murdoch — is vile and/or stupid.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 24: Tonight’s “Countdown” count: Dozens of extravagant suck-ups to Stephen Colbert, two references to Cornell, and one video of a model falling down on the runway. Keith has returned to this hilarious theme over and over. Care to psychoanalyze a grown man who enjoys watching beautiful young women be humiliated?

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 27: Tonight, the #1 segment was about Ken Burns’ new PBS documentary on baseball, which just happens to feature one Mr. Keith Olbermann, who also played a clip of himself in the documentary at the top of the hour. The segment itself began with the words “In September 1994, the Montreal Expos…” If that doesn’t make you flip off your television set, press your Life Alert button and be rest assured that help is on the way.

Tonight also saw the birth of a rival show on MSNBC. “The Last Word” with Lawrence O’Donnell now airs at 10 p.m. EST, which used to be a slot reserved for a rerun of “Countdown,” which will now be bumped back to 11 p.m. Poor Keith didn’t just lose a time slot; he also lost a right-hand man. O’Donnell has been Olbermann’s go-to guest host on nights when he is on vacation, in a bad mood, or would rather go to a baseball game.

Olbermann appeared on the first “Last Word” as an in-studio guest, though he didn’t look happy to be doing it. Maybe his bad attitude was justified: The show beat “Countdown” in the ratings.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28: Tonight’s top guest slot went to comedian David Cross, who spent his time making fun of religious people based on the results of the Pew Forum’s Religious Knowledge survey, which found that atheists know more about religion than Christians do. This is somehow surprising and hilarious to Olbermann and the ironically named Cross, despite the fact that, as Steve Thorngate pointed out over at the Christian Century, “Atheists/agnostics and Jews didn’t actually do better on the Christianity questions than Christians did, just nearly as well—and considerably better on all the others. This is perfectly intuitive: minority groups know more about the majority than vice versa, because majority culture tends to define what counts as general knowledge.” Of course, making that very sensible observation is not nearly as fun as laughing at the stupids.

In related news, tonight’s “Oddball” segment featured a clip of Mariah Carey falling down, women participating in a relay race wearing high heels, and the final episode of the Australian version of “America’s Next Top Model” in which the host accidentally announced the wrong winner and a model was humiliated. Ha. Ha. Ha.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29: Tonight Olbermann named writer Dinesh D’Souza the runner-up for Worst Person in the world. The host tossed out the snide aside, “D’Souza has a book. They alllll have a book,” which is funny, because recently Keith has been relentlessly promoting his own upcoming book, flashing it constantly on “Countdown” and also when he made his appearance on “The Last Word.” In response, I will refuse to name it or link to it here out of sheer spite.

  • Rachel Maddow

    I just like watching the female models.

  • RHO1953

    Olbermann is clinically insane. Seriously, I believe him to be in need of treatment. Maybe he could snag Matthews for a roomie.

  • Rita Cink

    Is he gay? or is he a sadist.

    • TxGold

      Both, Rita!

  • Brian Brawdy

    Maybe Jerry Springer could host new show, “Anchors Unleashed” where they all get together and toss their anchor chairs at each other.

  • TxGold

    I still say they don’t pay you enough to sit thru an entire hour of blubberman’s ravings!!!!!!!!!!

  • jonavark

    Well he is gay after all. And like some posters here probably hates anything prettier than he is. That’s why he has Arianna on so much.

  • Libertista

    Hmm. How about that. Keith went to Cornell? I guess I didn’t notice that the 2,487 other times he mentioned it. He’s so humble.

  • rockhard

    oberdope picks on beautiful women because he has be turned down since he was a geek in school, what girl would want to date a leftist crying screaming nerd.

    the guys for months was ranting and crying like a child over our waterboarding the mastermind of 9/11 now thats a man every women loves, not..wimp..

  • talibangelical

    And Bill O’Reilly is obsessed with falafels. Dick Morris is more normal…he is just into lick hooker’s toes. All true. I report – you decide.