The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

Bring me an aspirin, Keith Olbermann: We watch, because we’re paid to

Election week on “Countdown”! I’ll give you three guesses as to whether it ended in elation or a splitting headache. Or perhaps it ended with the revelation just this morning on Politico that Olbermann made three $2,400 contributions in the recent election, violating both NBC policy and basic principles of journalism. One donation, to Arizona representative Raul Grijalva, took place on the same day Grijalva appeared on “Countdown.” The other donations went to Kentucky Senate candidate Jack Conway and another Arizona representative, Gabrielle Giffords. (You will definitely want to read this.) But meanwhile, here’s the week that was:

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 29: Tonight, a final, desperate interview with soon-to-lose Florida candidate for Senate, Kendrick Meek. Meek dropped the words “KendrickMeek.com” at least twice into the conversation, which must have made Keith very angry since he cares so deeply when Republican candidates go on Fox and share their websites over and over to encourage fundraising. He must have been so mad! But since he is a paragon of professionalism, he didn’t show his anger at all.

Next a segment about how the economy is actually doing a lot better than many Americans suspect. Finally, some optimism around here! The economy is growing, though 61 percent of Americans think it’s shrinking! Much of the TARP money will be recovered! And federal taxes have actually gone down recently, Keith reports. These are interesting points!

Then he pivoted immediately to a conversation with Arianna Huffington, author of the totally reasonable book “Third World America,” about how America is a sinkhole of poverty and economic despair. I guess she regrets immigrating here from … Greece?

At the end of the interview, Huffington plugged her free shuttle bus from New York down to Washington, D.C., for the weekend’s “Restoring Sanity” rally. Keith must been so mad!

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 31: Yes, SUNDAY. Oh, “Countdown,” why do you persecute me? Why would you add a special weekend show? Is this what we get now that Keith isnt busy with Sunday Night Football? There is no god.

Or at least that’s what I thought before this show began, when it came abundantly clear that this particular episode needs to exist. So much breaking news! So many fresh observations! And most of them happened during a riveting interview with Speaker-for-now Nancy Pelosi. Behold the brilliance:

“They [the Chamber of Commerce] want to buy these elections.”

Zing! You used that one last week on this show, Ms. Pelosi, but it’s such a good line, I can understand why!

“Elections are always about the future.”

Brilliant!

“We’re going forward. We’re not about going backward. We’re fighting for the middle class. This election is also about our democracy.”

Oh, dear. The Pelosi-bot is broken! It’s shorting out! It’s spitting out cliches faster than we can process them! Call 911!

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 1: On election eve, a grim conversation with Howard Fineman, in which Keith worried, “I’m not sure if my language was sufficiently apocalyptic to convey these late polls.” When Keith “The World Is Ending and I Really Mean It This Time” Olbermann is worried about his insufficiently apocalyptic language, you know the polls are bad.

A little later in his conversation with Fineman, he mused that “both houses of Congress can be won or lost depending on whether people who already favor the Democrats will take half an hour, an hour, two hours out of their day, whatever it is, to bother voting.”

You know what they say: If your election lasts more than two hours, you should consult with a doctor. Rimshot!

But seriously, two hours? It took me 15 minutes on Tuesday, and that included dealing with a line, an unfamiliar ballot, and the sterling competence of America’s poll workers.

Then, the most significant moment of the week to Keith’s 17 loyal fans: The END of “Worst Persons!” Seems Keith was guilted into suspending the nightly segment by Jon Stewart’s “Rally for Sanity.” He disputes the “false equivalence” between the partisans on MSNBC and Fox. (Confidential to Jon Stewart: You were right; Keith is wrong.) But Keith nonetheless thinks it’s time to put the segment aside. “Satire and whimsy have gradually gotten lost in some anger,” he said, which is the biggest understatement since Mel Gibson tried the same line.

But regardless, “Worst Persons” is gone! (I got into this in a little bit more depth in my review earlier this week of Keith’s new book “Pitchforks and Torches.”) Good riddance!

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 4: Election night! That means no traditional “Countdown,” just hours and hours and hours of Keith jockeying for air time with Chris Matthews and Rachel Maddow and Lawrence O’Donnell and the rest of the crew. It was fun! It just wasnt aswhats the word … “goodas Fox’s coverage.

In related news, you may be interested in this survey by Philadelphia Daily News columnist Stu Bykofsky, who stepped into my personal hell and watched every episode of “Countdown” for one week, along with every episode of Fox’s “The O’Reilly Factor.” Bykofsky was curious about which show featured a wider ideological variety of guests. The shocking result, when he tallied up both shows’ guests for the week:

“’The O’Reilly Factor’ welcomed 20 guests from the right, 11 from the left and seven who were neutral. Left and neutral voices combined almost equaled those from the right. ‘Countdown with Keith Olbermann’ had 20 guests from the left, two neutral and not a single voice from the right. Zero voices of dissent.”

I’m shocked, I tell you. Shocked.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 3: The day after a rough night for Keith and pals, tonight’s show was mostly a post-mortem — hashing out the poll numbers, wondering aloud if Democrats were liberal enough, and a segment blaming the whole thing on the Chamber of Commerce. He also spent a lot of post-election time making fun of John Boehner for tearing up in public. Hahaha, only girls cry! Very progressive, Keith. Very cool.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 4: The rough week continues. Tonight, poor Keith had to break from an interview with long-suffering Howard Fineman to massage his own temples on air, saying he had to get rid of a headache immediately. (And this was before the whole world found out he made those campaign donations.) You know, Keith, some of us have a headache during every minute of every episode of your show, and we manage to keep it together. Surely we can expect the same silent misery from you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ron-Clendening/565863828 Ron Clendening

    I’m sad that queef is leaving pmsnbc, I always looked forward (leaned forward??? nah.) to Ms. Graham’s weekly summary of his showcase of lefty insanity. She is, IMHO, a hero (yes, a H.E.R.O.) for having watched queef’s show to tell us DC readers what the loon was up to each week.

    Thus, I would like to nominate Ms. Graham for… well, some sort of fantastic award for her heroics. Though, I don’t think any exist for her particular brand of public service, she should receive recognition for the “loony left grenades” she jumped on for us each week…. even though she was paid to do so.

    Thanks Ruth. Thank you for your service to your country. I can only imagine that Tucker Carlson wasn’t paying you enough for what you were assigned to do!

    OMG!! It just hit me!!! I hope Carlson doesn’t make you start watching Lawrence O’Donnell!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brian-J-Conway/1755392219 Brian J Conway

    ER5150. If we have heard everything, it would not appear that he has violated the law. His punishment, what has already been given by his network, is about the extent of it.

    Good riddance.

    Brian Conway
    Kinderhook, N. Y.

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  • chris24j

    There are a few caveats that should be offered, to be fair (as Jon Stewart recommended):

    1 – Olbermann’s statement was that there was no moral equivalence between those who speak for the powerful and those who speak for the powerless. Every decent human being on the planet would agree to this, so when you indicate this is wrong, I hope it’s because you misunderstood it or missed part of it. Now whether FOX usually represents the (wealthy and) powerful, while MSNBC tends to speak more for those who lack the wealth, power, or (for other reasons) the ability to speak for themselves is arguable (though perhaps has some truth to it).

    2 – Both Fox News as a corporation and individuals network commentators have made political donations. This may be okay by their rules, but if it is okay for them, but not for MSNBC and Olbermann, then MSNBC has demonstrated greater integrity and taken the higher road on this one. This further strengthens Olbermann’s statement about moral equivalency between the organizations, though it’s a shame that he failed to some extent on a personal level in this.

    3 – Olbermann may have criticized FOX (as a corporation) for donations. Has he also criticized individual commentators at FOX for their donations? If not, then there is not really an equivalence. His main problem here is breaking MSNBC rules, but if we claim he is a commentator, and not a journalist, BECAUSE of the donations (rather than because of what he says) then by implication FOX news is not news by our definition.

  • mojo

    NBC’s ethics rules are for Journalists, not Mouthy Asshats. Keef’s in the clear on this one, I’d say.

    • sbintexas

      Agreed. Is anyone on the planet surprised that he donated to a Dem? The only redeeming quality about Olbermann, that he never pretended to be down for the Republicans, although he did pretend to be a journalist once in a while so maybe the ethics code applies.

      At any rate, the most important question: Who is The Daily Caller going to pick on now the Olbermann has been replaced by a black hole? Second most important question: Will anyone notice? Third most important question: Should MSNBC now expect it’s ratings in that time period to go up?

      Seriously, I enjoy this column, don’t want it to end.

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  • ER5150

    Ahhh, poor Keith. He has probably been taking alot of baths lately.
    To anyone that knows the answer to this. Can he actually face some sort of fine, or legal issue for donating?

    • chris24j

      This is his company’s supposed policy . . . I doubt there is any legal issue. In a way the company ‘fined’ him by suspending him without pay. If this is true, and if he were to fight it, he might be able to get that back. NBC’s claims it has a policy not allowing political donations, but seems only to apply that policy to those who donate to Democratic candidates. As Salon pointed out, other broadcast figures on MSNBC and CNBC have donated to Republicans without any repercussions. The policy seems to only be applied in a partisan manner . . . and/or perhaps only to Olbermann.