Politics

Nader unites us all in the fight against ‘federal fondlers’

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Mike Riggs
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      Mike Riggs

      Mike Riggs is a staff writer at The Daily Caller. He has written and reported for Reason magazine and reason.com, GQ, the Awl, Decibel, Culture 11, the Philadelphia Bulletin, and the Washington City Paper, where he served as an arts and entertainment editor.

The X-ray security machines coming to an airport near you have been called “dick-measuring devices” by seasoned travelers, inspired TSA employees to commit crimes of passion, and eaten up the Transportation Security Administration’s allocation of stimubucks. In short, no one likes them.

Consumer rights advocate and perennial presidential vote-splitter Ralph Nader is here to help. Not only has he joined forces with the Electric Privacy Information Center and the Council on American-Islamic Relations to protest the machines, he also told The Daily Caller that he paid a visit this week to Grover Norquist’s Americans for Tax Reform meeting to recruit conservatives in his fight against “federal fondlers.”

“I said to ‘em, ‘I want to say a few words to this group, who are fully employed, fully insured, and fully clothed.’ And I said, ‘Get ready for naked insecurity.’”

Airport X-ray machines, says Nader, are a bipartisan issue. Republican Senators Tom Coburn, Susan Collins, and Richard Burr have all raised concerns that the machines emit a dangerous amount of radiation, “and you should know,” Nader added, “that the Libertarian Party, at my urging, came out with a tough statement last week against them.”

The list of critics is growing by the day. A group of 11,000 airline pilots have objected to the scanners on the grounds that they could be dangerous. (They’ve also whined that it’s unprofessional for TSA to give full-body pat-downs to pilots who decline to use the X-ray machines in full view of their passengers.)

The travel industry is frustrated because the machines cause delays, pilots are upset because the machines are degrading, consumers are upset because strangers get to see their genitals, and “academic scientists” are upset, said Nader, because the backscatter X-ray machines emit a radiation dose “10 times higher than what the government says.”

Italy, after a 6-month trial period using the machines, is abandoning them. “Italy called them ‘ineffective and slow,’” Nader said.

“Susan Collins has requested information from TSA, but DHS is an exceptionally secretive and inaccessible, unresponsive bureaucracy. So it’s very hard to get information.”

TSA “knows best,” said Nader. Or thinks it does. “They just blew $32 million on puffer machines. You ever see one of those?”

The Daily Caller admitted that we had, in fact, seen the puffer machines.

“They blow air. You get into a cage and they blow air at you. Too many false positives.”

The backscatter X-ray machines are more of the same, Nader argued. “They don’t work how they are supposed to, they are hazardous in terms of radiation, and they are wild invasions of privacy.”

Also: “They store these images of you naked.”

If you don’t want to go through the machines, “they grope you like you would not believe,” said Nader, who has yet to face either an X-ray machine or a pat-down. When asked if he would submit to a groping in lieu of having naked images of himself stored on a machine, Nader said, “I don’t think we should have government gropers or federal fondlers.”

  • noonespetgoat

    I’ve noted some here and many elsewhere, wanting to place this at the feet of Obama and his tribe of miscreants. Sure he could stop it, like he promised. But he’s like the dude who gets drug to his new girlfriend’s friend’s wedding. He’s there for the free booze and free food. He has no clue what’s going on behind the scenes. He thought this was just about giving speeches and winning elections. Obama/Napolitano are not the ones responsible for converting the TSA from a hapless equal-opportunity, government agency into a third world style, law enforcement malignancy. This is all team W., aka Ashcroft and Chertoff. You know the guys who were just keeping Amurica safe from evil-doers.

  • snappercat

    “special recommendations for Muslim women who wear hijab,” it states: “Before you are patted down, you should remind the TSA officer that they are only supposed to pat down the area in question, in this scenario, your head and neck. They SHOULD NOT subject you to a full-body or partial-body pat-down.” The very religion which has spawned the jihadists is now claiming a religious exemption to allow Muslims in hijabs a pass on security measures! I say profile.

  • robb32

    Seems we lost OUR freedom on 911. Betting this would stop if Obama’s kids, or the children of Senators or Congressmen got groped in public. If Napolitano isn’t fired immediately(and she should be!), then in lieu of us regaining our individual privacy, ALL passengers should have to go through the scanners and ALL naked pictures should be broadcast on large screen tv’s IN the terminal for ALL to see. No sense in allowing only the tsa pervs. Require it to fly and watch the end of the industry. In reality, if enough passengers boycott flying over the Holidays, it’ll send a message to the airlines; altho I’m sure the Dems won’t get it.

  • votersofny

    Cancer anyone? Private companies have to wait years for the FDA to approve certain machines, but that fat pig Napolitano can force everyone to go through a machine that we KNOW causes cancer. Let HER go through these full body scanners and then we’ll see if she really is a she.

    We have to take back this country people. We have to get politicians to realize they work for US. Keep voting them out if thney don’t represent.

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  • DANIEL CABRERA

    TERRORIST?…LET’S START PROFILING ON EVERYONE AND ANYONE OUTSIDER
    __________________________________________________________________

    PROFILING IS NOT RACISM , IT IS A PROCEDURE TOOL

    PROFILING?…WHO?….who cannot handle this one?

    ACTUALLY, THERE IS NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH PROFILING OF ANY KIND…in simple terms,…if a LION attack the livestock, the farmer should NOT be LOOKING for a FISH in a pond….even a caveman understand this one….correct on this?

    THIS FLACID CLAIM OF ‘…”I AM OFFENDED FOR I LOOK HISPANIC..OR MIDDLE-EAST TYPE …OR WHAT EVER ETHNIC TYPE…etc.etc…” …THAT COMPLAINT IS NOT A VALID ONE…NO MATTER HOW MUCH NOISE ANYONE WANT TO GENERATE OVER THIS.

    We ALL know how terrorists looks lilke and what are the routes they are using attempting to do harm to us in our own land…and around the rest of the world…and we know that also they have a ‘BLENDING PROGRAM’ to looks like regular americans.

    So any – ABSOLUTELY ANY OUTSIDER – ARE TO BE SCAN AT FULL SPECIALLY THOSE WHO HAVE THE AUDACITY TO COME HERE AND WALK AROUND WITH RAGS IN THEIR HEADS AND LONG TUNICS AND BEARDS THAT SEEMS TO STORAGE SPIDERS AND OTHERS NASTY BUGS.

    The BLASTED POLITICAL CORRECTNESS IS SERVING THEM VERY WELL TO INFILTRATE THEIR NEFARIOUS AND INSIDIOUS AGENTS HERE IN OUR LAND …AND THEY KNOW THAT AS LONG WE FIGHT AMONG OURSELVES TO LOOKS GOOD AS POLITICAL CORRECT THEY WILL HAVE THE ADVANTAGE.

    WE SEEMS TO BE EXTREMELY NAIVE (for not to say monumentally stupid and idiotic)AND LET THIS TO CONTINUE BECAUSE AUTO-FEAR ….of what?….to be call ‘anti-this’ or ‘anti-that’ by them?….people, GROW-UP!,…WISE-UP!

    We all are big boys and girls here ,….and this can easily be understood using only about TWO NEURONS,…AND THE REST OF THE BRAIN ON ‘STAND-BY’

    So , once more – (and better is FOR EVERYONE TO UNDERSTAND VERY WELL AND CRYSTAL CLEAR!) – PROFILING IS NOT RACISM…PROFILING IS A PROCEDURE TOOL…AND IS VERY VERY NESCESSARY….

    IT IS A MATTER OF SURVIVAL!

    So, again, WE ALL ARE BIG BOYS AND GIRLS …so we should be able to handle it.

    Live with it.

    Daniel Cabrera
    Merrillville,Indiana

  • DANIEL CABRERA

    TOPIC RELATED;
    _____________

    Terrorism?…let’s scan the obvious ones…care for a simple question?…walk with me;

    WHICH IDEOLOGY,… SCHOOL OF THOUGHT,…RELIGION,…MENTALITY SET-UP… IS THE FOUNDATION AND PLATFORM FOR THOSE BALSTED TERRORISTS AUTO-DESTRUCTIVE / SUICIDAL ASSASSINS ALL OVER THE WORLD ?…do we have an answer on this one?

    Alright , let’s ask in another manner; – From the religions /school of thought/way of life/ideoloy,…faith,if you will….WHICH ONE RELIGIOUS IDEOLOGY IS THE ONE USED AS PLATFORM FOR ASSASINATION, DESTRUCTION,ALL KIND OF NEFARIOUS BRUTAL ACTS AROUND THE WORLD?…WHICH ONE?…

    JUDEO-CHRISTIAN?…TIBET-LAMA METAPHYSIC SCHOOL?…VEDA-HINDU DICIPINE?…KRISHNA FOLLOWERS GROUPS?…SCIENTOLOGY?…LUTHERAN?…BAPTISTS?…ISLAMIC-MUSLIM JIHADDIST SPECTRUM?…JEWHOVA WITNESS,…BAHAI?…WHICH ONE?….take a pick.

    If the brain is developing smoke for is so difficult to process it…allow me to help out;
    THE BLASTED ASSASSINS TERRORISTS HAVE AS PLATFORM THE ISLAMIC-MUSLIM JIHADDIST IDEOLOGY.

    Input anyone?
    Does any of us need to have a phD in quantum physics to answer this simple question?

    Daniel Cabrera
    Merrillville,Indiana

  • student1776

    This is all part of extending the window of what level of control people will accept from government – getting people used to the loss of privacy, the loss of control, breaking them in to government. Obama’s Democrats like the Eurosocialists need a broken populance not the unruly, assertive, historical Americans.

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  • ojfl

    Time to lighten up: let them scan me. I am not the one who will be disgusted by what they see. :-)