The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

S.E.’s Diary: Hunting Edition

9:46 AM 11/19/2010
S.E. Cupp

Well, it’s that time of year again. Deer season opens in New York State this weekend and — would you believe it — I have to leave my plush surroundings at The Breakers in West Palm Beach to make it back for that all important first shot at a big, beautiful buck.

I’m here in sunny southern Florida for David Horowitz’s Restoration Weekend, which will I’m sure make sitting in a frozen blind on the damp forest floor seem even less comfortable than usual, but I wasn’t going to miss opening day for anything — even a poolside cabana, a daiquiri and Doug Schoen’s delightful badinage.

Opening day always makes me think of my first time out. I was nervous, excited, and spent a week wrestling 10-pointers in my dreams before actually hitting the hunt. My expectations were ridiculously high (“What if I fill all my tags?”) and also ridiculously naive. Sure, I’d watched hunting shows, flipped through my Field & Stream fall issues, and listened patiently as my hunting elders tried to explain what was about to happen.

But nothing can prepare you for the real thing. So this year, I thought I’d pass on some wisdom for those of you who are thinking about getting out there, this season or some time in the near future. Because there are some things the experts think are just too obvious to tell you. But trust me, they aren’t. And yes, you are that dumb. These are in fact precisely the things you need to hear.

For one, deer in the field don’t look at all the way they do in your mind. While you’re probably expecting something like this to mosey on up in front of your gun barrel…

…the reality is deer are really, really hard to see. They don’t have paper targets taped on them either. One year I sat in a blind for eight hours, expecting that when a deer rolled up, he’d look like something out of the Macy’s Day parade. It took a long time to learn how to look, and what subtle color variations and movements to look for. If you can spot the deer in this photo, you’re on your way. Hint: It’s in the open, nowhere near the tree line.

Tags: David Horowitz, Deer, Florida, Hunting, Thanksgiving
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  • Patrick Henry

    YES! Stephanie (oh, I mean SE) is a little full of herself.
    We could do alot worse:
    She is a Conservative
    She likes hunting and guns
    She doesn’t look like Susan Estrich (if you don’t know who Susan is, Google her, I am sure Wiki has a suitably fawning bio, but be forewarned there is probably a picture of her and I guarantee it will ruin your day)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ramone-Love/100001872878784 Ramone Love

    Does S.E. Cupp actually get paid for her once-a-month (or longer) essays? And what’s with all this fishing and hunting crap on this site? Between her and Labash I though I’d stumbled onto Field & Stream.

    • sbintexas

      Their pay is likely tied directly or undirectly to hits/readership. Taken to the extreme if no one ever reads their stuff then they will eventually be let go. Your participation here likely causes their salaries to go up.

  • paleoconservative

    I’ve killed more deer than Chronic Wasting Disease has (so far); let me give you a tip from a guy in the woods of Missourah: don’t waste your money on the “scent-killing” products. There is no such thing. As long as you live and breathe, you produce scent. Even after you stop living you will do so for some time.

    If you’re in cattle country, be sure and cover your boots in fresh cow****. Beyond that, spray red fox or coon urine from your knees down. You’ll be good to go, even down-wind.

  • magedogtag

    “And yes, you are that dumb.” – from the catch quote under the headline on the front page.

    response to s.e. cupp -

    what an arrogant fool. a chick hunter is nothing new and i’m sure one that want’s to show how much she knows is nothing new either.

    on the other hand, this broad seems to think she can get away with calling any new hunter “dumb” just because she gets paid to write an edgy column and has some looks.

    what i’d like to know is how smart she is on the performance of world war two fighter aircraft, even one type, through their evolution during the war.

    gee, i’d hate to call her dumb just because she didn’t know some simple things about fighter aircraft.

    mind you, it wouldn’t surprise me if someone put a question like that to her and a day (and a lot of research) later she came up with some correct answers.

    but she assumes that since you don’t know all these hunting things now, you are dumb.

    if she could on the spot, without research, explain to me which two american fighter/attack aircraft were built around a single part of each aircraft and which parts those were, i might not call her dumb.

    but i don’t know how to hunt so i’m automatically dumb.

    s.e. don’t be an arrogant dolt. oh. never mind. too late.

    • sbintexas

      You’re not “automatically dumb” just because you don’t know how to hunt.

      Don’t go away mad.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clar-Larc/100001059013311 Clar Larc

    This should be required reading for all hunters. I believe the deer must have been airbrushed grassy green to fool us.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Puerling/1080859026 Michael Puerling

    I don’t know the rules in NY but in my 30+ years of hunting I have never even met anybody that buried a gut pile. And I estimate that I have left at least 100 of them scattered across the country.

  • sbintexas

    Interesting that last picture, I definitely couldn’t see the deer in there. It’s almost as if the deer’s coat and colors were acting like some sort of camouflage. To help out, why don’t we force all deer to wear those orange vests that hunters wear, oh ya, can’t do that, otherwise too many hunters would get shot.

  • TxGold

    You don’t look for the deer specifically, you look for something that doesn’t belong in the setting.

    • jonavark

      Agreed.. like the carrots, veggies and mashed potatoes following it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Douglas-Gager/586068360 Douglas Gager

    Enjoyed this a lot. Have not hunted since moving south, but sure do miss those days in the woods on a cold, snowy morning. makes me homesick just to think about it. Thanks for the memories.

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