Keith Olbermann loves a good conspiracy theory: We watch, because we’re paid to

On the same night that Larry King signed off after 25 years on CNN, Olbermann delivered a passive-aggressive, self-aggrandizing farewell to King, “a friend and supporter.” It reminded me of when the news broke back in July that King would be stepping down. Here’s’ what Olbermann said at the time: “Larry King announcing tonight he will leave his nightly show this fall. Larry King is a lovely and generous man, who repeatedly tried to convince his bosses to hire me to precede him at CNN, as long ago as the spring of 2001. I will always be in his debt. Larry King, great broadcaster, hello.“ Ha! The man does have a knack for bringing every story back to himself. (In case you missed it, heres how he used Elizabeth Edwards’ death to talk about his old show on ESPN.)

Anyway, he ended histribute” tonight by slamming CNN and King for low ratings. Now that King is leaving, he said, CNN will realize “it wasn’t the host that was the problem of a feature interview show at 9 o’clock. It was the idea of a feature interview at 9 o’clock.” Classy!

The Worst Persons segment featured Lou Dobbs, Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly. Olbermann read each offending quote in different, bizarre voices, presumably meant to be impressions. Whatever you’re imagining right now, make it weirder. Then the very next segment was an interview with Kevin Spacey about his new film in which he portrays Jack Abramoff, who Olbermann promptly mocked for having a habit of doing impressions. Then he told a story about how Walter Matthau once did a bad impression of Vin Scully for him. At this point I just have to throw my hands up.

I’ll end this column by saying that Keith Olbermann is almost certainly worse at doing impressions that Walter Matthau was. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go see if any flowers have been delivered, because that, ladies and gentlemen, is the nicest thing anyone’s said about Keith Olbermann all week.

  • RHO1953

    A left wing group conducts a “study” which concludes Fox viewers are uninformed because they don’t believe in global warming or that Obamacare will save money. Hilarious. We are uniformed because we don’t believe made-up propaganda? Yeah, riiight.

  • talibangelical

    Dear Keith

    Why did you make me leave? Now I am doing guest appearances on Fox Overnight shows….was it the bow ties? I stopped wearing them. Please take me back.

    I know I cashed all those MSBNC checks when I worked there before they fired me…so yes, I know I am a hypocrite in so many ways. And don’t get me started on my time at CNN!

    But things have changed, I now have a blog with dozens of readers! Some of them even have jobs and occasionally leave the house.

    Notice me Keith…notice me!!


  • ImpressedByHonesty

    Fox’s audience is misinformed. What– didn’t you know?


    Time for the endless loop of changing the subject, and sanctified distortions, so tell me what you think? I’m all ears…

    • april

      “In a statement, Michael Clemente, who is the senior vice president of news editorial for the network, said: “The latest Princeton Review ranked the University of Maryland among the top schools for having ‘Students Who Study The Least’ and being the ‘Best Party School’ – given these fine academic distinctions, we’ll regard the study with the same level of veracity it was ‘researched’ with.”

      “The study did not actually measure any sort of actual misinformation presented by some media outlets”

      “Among the study’s biggest supporters is the Tides Foundation. Coincidence?”

      “Time for the endless loop of changing the subject, and sanctified distortions, so tell me what you think? I’m all ears…”

      Right back at ya – hypocrisy has no limits does it…. Enough said!

  • aposematic

    When a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? You do know that if it were not for your constant promotion you call “We watch because we are paid to.” of MSNBC’s Olbermann nonsense, no one would hear it either! Please stop reporting this idiot’s idiotic rants; they just make you look dumber than Olbermann. Same goes for O’Rielly and his constant promotion of “The View” that nobody ever watches either. I believe, if your audience or Fox’s audience cared a lick about either of these two shows, they would watch them themselves, not wait for some idiot watcher to repeat what both shows are always puking out.