Gopher the Infidel

Actually, I should have seen this coming. A couple of weeks ago, shortly after the events at WMAL went down, this association contacted my representatives to make certain I would not talk about radical Islam during my speech. This was not a problem. I have never even mentioned Islamic extremism in any of my paid public events and have no plans to do so. I even assured these guys I wouldn’t take questions on the subject. We were supposed to have a conference call to go over content but evidently their board of directors met yesterday and voted me off the island.

So now I don’t know whether I should be outraged or flattered. Obviously, it is more than a little troubling to find that the mere mention of politically sensitive subjects can cost you employment in this country. I thought blasphemy laws were all the rage in Pakistan, not Minnesota. But, to be perfectly honest, part of me thinks this whole thing is kind of cool. Throughout all my careers, I’ve been labeled many times and the mention has not always been favorable. But I’ve never been dangerous. I’ve been panned but never banned. And the feeling is strangely invigorating. I say what I like because I like what I say. So if being welcomed back to the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes requires me to be more Shariah compliant, I’ll pass. And I guess you shouldn’t look for me in Dearborn anytime soon.

However, I now have an open date in April, so if you’ve got a wedding or a bar mitzvah coming up, I’m available.

Fred Grandy has been a successful actor on television (The Love Boat), a four-term member of Congress from Iowa, the President of Goodwill Industries, International, and until recently the host of the Grandy Group, a daily news/talk radio program in Washington, D.C. He holds a Master of Fine Arts degree in classical acting.