Friday’s royal wedding will be a joyous celebration for Prince William and Kate Middleton, but just about everyone else is fatigued by the gathering, which hasn’t even happened yet. When the networks constantly broadcast “news” on an event to which few are invited, many make jokes at its expense. Some comedians, celebrities, and “commoners” have responded to the constant stream of royal wedding details. If you’re tired of hearing about Prince Williams’s receding hairline, Kate Middleton’s mysterious wedding gown choice and the debate on her purity, check out these funny royal wedding jokes and criticism. Not everyone kowtows to the future king and queen!
1. Daniel Radcliffe: Just because I’m British doesn’t mean I care!
“Harry Potter” star Daniel Radcliffe doesn’t seem to hate the royal wedding, but he doesn’t understand why anyone would suspect he’d have an interest in it.
“I won’t be getting up at 4 a.m. to watch the wedding,” Radcliffe told Celebuzz on Monday. “I’ll catch the highlights on CNN because they’ll be running something 24/7…Why would they invite me? I might be English, but they don’t know me. Why do all Americans think that?”
Well, never mind, then.
2. Andrew Malcolm promotes Jimmy Fallon’s royal wedding jokes
Los Angeles Times’ Top of the Ticket columnist Andrew Malcolm often sticks to political stories, but he’s also amused by royal wedding snark. The world traveler tweeted on Wednesday evening, “[Comedian Jimmy] Fallon: Kate Middleton doing her own wedding makeup. So except 4 the castle, jewels, limos, mansions, servants & butlers shes just like us.”
3. Comedienne Kathy Griffin jokes about Middleton’s deflowering
Former Gawker intern Kathy Griffin took a whack at journalism with her March slideshow, which included a photo of Middleton pressing a flower against her skirt with Prince William right behind her. For the caption, Griffin pretended to be Middleton and wrote, “Is this daisy covering my no no parts? Because some one behind me thinks me a virgin. Shhhhh.”
4. FakeAPStylebook: Like mother-in-law, like daughter-in-law
With media sources attempting to find parallels between Middleton and the late Princess Diana, satirical Twitter account, @FakeAPStylebook tweeted the obvious on Wednesday, “Keep comparing Kate Middleton to Princess Diana. Every bride enjoys hearing how much she’s like her mother-in-law.”
5. Even the royal couple has to save money
Though blogger Neil Brownhill’s snarky tweet does not reflect the truth, it’s humorous nonetheless: “Poor old Kate Middleton, after marrying the Prince they are off to her Nanna’s for food rather than a nice meal. #recession hits royals too.”
6. Perfunctory nerd “Harry Potter” reference
Twitter user @jamesmiller_ published a “Harry Potter” related epiphany via Twitter on Wednesday, no doubt thrilling the book/film series fans who are ashamed of Radcliffe’s aforementioned apathy, “If Prince William (Royal blood) and Kate Middleton (NOT Royal Blood) have a baby you know what that means?…The Half Blood Prince. MIND BLOWN.” See, Radcliffe, you really can’t divorce from royal wedding discussion. It’s just not in the cards.
7. Stewart Lee: Middleton really was an ugly duckling saved by a prince
In a Guardian piece published Wednesday, comedian Stewart Lee likened Middleton to Scottish singing prodigy Susan Boyle, “William has pointed himself at Kate Middleton, the Susan Boyle of social mobility.” How sweet.
8. Will Ferrell adores the royal wedding
“Old School” actor Will Ferrell appeared on David Letterman’s show on Tuesday to parody royal wedding fever. Donning a top hat and black suit, the comedian said, “I mean, I just can’t get enough of it – the coverage, the pageantry…I am so excited. Kate and Willie are very good friends.”
Watch: Will Ferrell takes a stab at regal behavior
9. “My Fair Colbert: Stephen Colbert’s Crown Jewels”
Earlier this month, “Colbert Report” host Stephen Colbert created a fake series on his fictional preparation for the royal wedding, to which he wasn’t actually invited.
“I cannot wait to receive my invitation to the royal wedding,” Colbert joked during an episode of his show. “Now it hasn’t arrived yet, but I’m sure it just takes a little bit longer for their wizarding owls to cross the Atlantic.”
On Dunkin’ Donuts’ new Royal Wedding pastry, Colbert said, “[It’s] so appropriate because like diamonds, diabetes is forever.”
Watch: Colbert get ready for the big day