DC Trawler

TheDC Morning: Howard Kurtz socks it to Eliot Spitzer

1.) Pawlenty and Cain in, Daniels out – On Sunday, Tim Pawlenty released a Youtube ad announcing his announcement that he’s going to announce that he’s announcing something. What was it? Oh yeah. He’s running for president! Over a soaring John Tesh-like score, Pawlenty intones: “We have far too much debt, too much government spending, and too few jobs… We need a president who understands that our problems are deep and has the courage to face them… I know the American dream, because I lived it. And I know for it to be there for the next generation, we’re going to have to do more than give fancy speeches. We’ve had three years of that, and it’s not working.” Let the savage personal attacks against him begin! Herman Cain made it official this weekend as well, saying, “I’m running for President of the United States and I’m not running for second.” Also not running for second, or in their case at all: Mitch Daniels and Paul Ryan.

2.) The end of the world is over… for now — The world didn’t end this weekend, unless you count the opening of the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Jeff Winkler looks at some of the best stories about the Notpocalypse: “Even the mayor of modern day Gomorrah, Michael Bloomberg, joked on Friday that New York City would suspend some rules if the apocalypse was indeed at hand… If the end of the world comes to pass, Mr. Bloomberg said, city residents will not have to worry about returning library books or paying parking tickets.” Ha ha ha. Isn’t he great, folks? Meanwhile, Harold Camping, the obscure cult leader who predicted the end and became instantly famous for some reason, is reported to be “mystified” and “a little bewildered.” Which is understandable; we all are. But hey, Johnny Depp needs the money.

3.) DSK = SOB — Congratulations to Dominique Strauss-Kahn for embodying everyone’s worst stereotypes about the French. Based on what the New York Post is reporting, DSK’s alleged attack on a hotel maid was just another day for him: “Disgraced former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn attempted to lure two attractive hotel employees to his $3,000-a-night hotel suite — and later put the moves on an Air France flight attendant following his alleged sexual assault on a maid… ‘What a nice ass!’ he barked to the attendant, using the lewd French expression ‘Quel beau cul!’ as she prepared the business-class cabin for takeoff last Saturday.” So this guy is basically Pepe Le Pew, except he wears pants. Sometimes.

4.) Howard Kurtz socks it to Eliot Spitzer — Get it? Socks? Ahem. TheDC’s Jeff Poor reports: “On Sunday’s broadcast of ‘Reliable Sources,’ Kurtz took a look at a CNN report on prior political sex scandals in the wake of accusations of sexual misdeeds by former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and former International Monetary Fund Dominique Strauss-Kahn. ‘It was supposed to be a look back at the major sex scandals involving politicians in recent years,’ Kurtz said. ‘But, there was one glaring omission in the CNN report. I’m sorry, if you’re going to do this kind of story you have to include Eliot Spitzer, even if he does now host a prime time CNN program. Otherwise you are airbrushing history.” That’s right: Eliot Spitzer is still on CNN. Who knew? Certainly not the American viewing public.

5.) It’s official: The Governator cartoon has been terminated — It’s a sad day for Arnold fans and lovers of ineptly scripted, poorly animated shlock. The LA Times: “The producers of the cartoon casting Schwarzenegger as himself — a superhero who must balance crime fighting with family duties — said Friday that they have pulled the plug on the planned series. ‘In light of recent events, A Squared Entertainment, POW, Stan Lee Comics, and Archie Comics, have halted production,’ A Squared said in a statement referring to the various entities that were developing and producing ‘The Governator’ and publishing a comic book based on the series.” Oh well. Arnold becoming a superhero called The Governator would’ve been like Clark Kent becoming a superhero called The Dailyplanetreporter. Meanwhile, back in “reality,” Arnold might have fathered even more illegitimate kids, claims… Jane Seymour? Dr. Quinn, Gossipin’ Woman!

6.) Lady Gaga on SNL — It was kind of funny. Hey, remember Madonna?

VIDEO: What should the media cover now that The Donald is no longer running for president?

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  • spike1120

    Eliot was a self-promoting prig who turned out to be a whore-monger. And during his Eliot-is-great-crusades ruined lots of innocent peoples’ lives and businesses. Now, thanks to his dad’s money he’s trying to rehab his image.

    Ain’t going to happen. He’s still a pimp with an ego almost the size of little Mike’s.

    His wife must puke every time he enters the house.

  • Wylee Coyote

    “So this guy is basically Pepe Le Pew, except he wears pants. Sometimes.”

    Scurrilous and untrue! Pepe Le Pew was far more charming, and appeared to have a better grasp of market-based economics.

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  • geoff

    Arnold needs a new nickname…..I’m thinking the “Spermanator” fits.