Editor’s Note: Have a question for Matt Labash? Submit it here
Dear Matt, In their holy matrimony, who is more likely to step out on the other, Barack or Michelle? – Dreedle
This is a mean-spirited question which only a mean-spirited person would answer. Therefore, I’m glad we found each other. I don’t wish to jinx the union of two kids who are clearly smitten. But the presidency is a pressure cooker which can force even the most virtuous president to find comfort in unexpected places, like an intern’s mouth.
My quick and dirty answer would be Michelle. If Barack gets a spare minute – which he seems to have a lot of – why would he have extramarital sex when he could be getting in another round of golf? Whereas, Michelle is not only subject to less scrutiny, providing more opportunities to stray, but is also the total package. She has delts of steel. She has a vegetable garden. Beneath her sunny smile beats the heart of a ferocious tigress, one who is not afraid to devour fat people, whom she clearly hates. But her ugly fatism aside, she’s a catch. I personally haven’t been this attracted to a first lady since Betty Ford. Not because I thought Betty Ford was so attractive, more because I thought she’d be fun to drink with.
I’m going to disappoint Obama detractors, however, in saying that such speculation is just a parlor game, with no grounding in reality. Every marriage turns on the axis of its own peculiarities, so it’s hard to say what makes one work. But experts pretty much agree that a major factor in any successful marriage is not only loving the other person, but loving yourself. On that basis, my guess is that the Obama marriage is extremely secure, as both seem very strong in the self-love department.




