1.) OMG, Michele Bachmann loves John Wayne Gacy, u guyz!!! — No, not really. It’s been a slow news day, as the Washington Times reports: “Rep. Michele Bachmann kicked off her presidential campaign on Monday in Waterloo, Iowa, and in one interview surrounding the official event she promised to mimic the spirit of Waterloo’s own John Wayne. The only problem, as one eagle-eyed reader notes: Waterloo’s John Wayne was not the beloved movie star, but rather John Wayne Gacy, the serial killer. Mrs. Bachmann grew up in Waterloo, and used the town as the backdrop for her campaign announcement, where she told Fox News: ‘Well what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That’s the kind of spirit that I have, too.'” Holy crap, a candidate for president loves serial killers? Well, no. As Dave Weigel explains, John Wayne was actually born in Winterset, IA, but his parents met in Waterloo. So she mixed up the name of the town where John Wayne was born with the name of the town where his parents lived. Wow. Trying to make something out of this is a bit like saying Obama believes in zombies because he thinks a Navy medic is pronounced “corpse man.” And it might not be a gaffe on a level with Obama mortifying the survivors of a Medal of Honor recipient by saying he’s still alive. But go ahead and run with the “John Wayne Gacy” thing if you like, guys. If you’re going to cry wolf, might as well make it a really scary wolf.
2.) ‘Hey, maybe if we tried ARRESTING Gaddafi?’ — Remember Libya? You know, the war nobody cares about because Obama isn’t a Republican. TheDC’s Jamie Weinstein has the latest: “On Monday, the ICC issued warrants for the arrest of Gaddafi, his son Saif and Libya’s chief of military intelligence, for committing crimes against the Libyan people. While no doubt Gaddafi and his regime allies are monsters, how does the ICC suppose it will arrest them? Send in the police? The ICC has no means to enforce their edict. But the mere issuance of the arrest warrant could prolong the Libyan war, resulting in more death and mayhem, and more expenditure of American resources… Now that he is a wanted man on the international stage, with a warrant issued for his arrest, Gaddafi has more incentive to hold out and fight to the death.” Yeah, but… um… Barack killed Bin Laden! Shut up!
3.) Another day, another failed attempt to counter the Tea Party — The Coffee Party. The Other 95 Percent. One Nation. US Uncut. F*** Tea. The list of pathetic, astroturfed attempts to show those teabaggers how to start an awesome political movement goes on and on. Now there’s a new one: The American Dream Movement. It’s the usual stuff: tax the rich, raise taxes on the wealthy, take more money from those who are more successful, etc. And you’ll never guess who’s in charge of it: Van Jones! Hello? Hey, come back! Jones kicked things off with a live two-hour speech that was livestreamed on their website, which was probably enough to kill the whole thing right there. Brandon Stewart at the Foundry has the lowlights: “In one particularly shocking part of his speech, Jones seemed to compare conservatives to terrorists, saying, ‘Paul Ryan’s budget would knock out more critical American infrastructure than our sworn enemies ever dreamed of knocking out.’ This is specially dangerous territory for one such as Jones, who has found himself in trouble before for signing a petition suggesting that America was at fault on 9/11 or complicit in al-Qaeda’s attacks on our nation—the so-called truther movement… Perhaps the major conceit in Jones’s address was the notion that the economy is a zero-sum game where the success of one person hinders your ability to succeed. If you’re not doing well, it’s because someone else is getting ahead at your expense. ‘We’re not broke,’ Jones said early on in his presentation, ‘We’ve been robbed.'” From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. What’s more American than that?
4.) Adele didn’t realize her money belongs to the government — British singer Adele may be rollin’ in the dough, but now she’s learning the pitfalls of daring to be successful while living in a welfare state. As Charles C. Johnson at National Review notes, the vocalist recently gave voice to her despair at giving half her income to the government, telling Q Magazine: “I use the NHS, I can’t use public transport any more, doing what I do, I went to state school . . . ! Trains are always late, most state schools are s[***], and I’ve gotta give you like 4 million quid, are you ’avin a laugh? When I got my tax bill in from [debut album] 19, I was ready to go ’n’ buy a gun and randomly open fire.” As Johnson notes, “At only 23 and worth a rumored £6 million, the chanteuse could be forgiven her harsh words. Careening from award to award — her latest album, 21, became the first in 2011 to sell 2 million copies last week and tops the charts in 15 countries — she hasn’t had time to learn the diva deal that the political Left affords stars: Make your music, but don’t have any politics but ours.” And right on cue, she’s already being pilloried by the miserable communists at the Guardian. That’s what she gets for working hard, making the best of her natural abilities, and daring to think she should be allowed to keep more than half of what she earns.
5.) Good news for Charlie Sheen’s various dealers — Winning! Tiger blood! Warlock rockstar from Mars! Ah, the good old days of Feb.-Mar. 2011. Since then, Ashton Kutcher has replaced Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men, and it’s been announced that “Charlie Harper” is being killed off. But Sheen still has something to smirk about! RadarOnline reports: “The embattled star has inked a deal for a new sitcom with Lionsgate Television and with a bidding war underway he is set to make more money than ever… ‘Charlie has inked a deal with Lionsgate Television to create and star in a new sitcom,’ an insider tells RadarOnline. “Charlie’s character will be very similar to the one he played on Two And a Half Men, however the show will be a lot racier. Networks and cable are bidding on the show right now, with TBS being the front runner.'” Well, it worked for Conan O’Brien. Sort of.
6.) Today’s words of wisdom from Alec Baldwin’s Twitter feed — “Wasabi Japanese restaurant in Nyack, NY. Excellent. Who knew? I did. Check it out.”
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