DC Trawler

How old is Malia Obama?

Don’t ask her dad:

Malia is actually 12. Oops. As we’ve seen over the last few years, numbers aren’t really Obama’s strong suit. In the words of another fake president: “It was my understanding that there would be no math.”

But hey, it’s not like he said something arguably inaccurate about Paul Revere or any of the other Founding Fathers. (Or even John Wayne!) Family man Barack Obama simply doesn’t know how old his own daughter is. He’ll definitely get it right when she turns 18, though, because he’ll be reminded every time he plays golf.

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  • truebearing

    Obama seems to have a lot of trouble when he gets into double digits….I recall his expansion of the country into 57 states.

  • dilbert animation on ebay

    At one time John Wayne Gacy was 12 or 13, it is rumored he did his homework a day early. /sarc.=on

  • LHLcensors

    We need to see her Certificate of Live Birth

  • yaddamaster

    what’s wrong with a job bagging groceries? What, are you some type of elitist snob lording it over “little” people trying to make an honest living? Jerkwad!

    • Alaskan

      You mean you don’t bring your own bags? Why do you hate the planet?

      • didacticrogue

        Sometimes it’s too hot; sometimes it’s too cold.

        … at least this one can be an entertaining idiot.

      • truebearing


        Like a chimp in a tux…

    • wygy

      Whenever I am asked “paper or plastic?” I respond with: “Doesn’t matter, I’m Bisacksual”.

      • mumblix

        I just say that I’m bagnostic.

  • Phil B

    By the way, how’s that campaign against Condi Rice going? Let us know when an arrest is imminent.

    • A Doctor’s Labor is Not my Right

      The “grocery baggers” in my town, in the Socialists State of WA,

      are UNION…

      I’ve seen one of them get into their Lexus on several occasions.

      And to think, I’m STILL paying off law school….I should have just become a

      grocery bagger ! Well…a UNION grocery bagger, that is.

  • jejones3141

    One of the sad things about visiting someone in a nursing home is seeing the reminder on the walls for those who are not yet totally out of it: “Today is Thursday June 30 2011″ and the like. This incident makes me imagine such reminders for the White House. “Today is Thursday June 30 2011. Your daughter Malia is 12 years old.”

    • 8second.ride

      HAHA…that was pretty funny.

  • Jim Treacher

    Hi, condiwarcriminal. Hope the rest of your day gets better!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jasmine-Clark/1785223171 Jasmine Clark

    on one hand, i looked it up and malia will turn 13 on july 4th, so i see that he rounded the age since it’s so close. BUT, on the other hand, you make a good point about how if bachmann (or palin, or another conservative) said that, it would be all over the news saying that they don’t know their own child’s age…

    • ghost

      You’re right. It could be argued that she’s much closer to 13.0 than she is to 12.0. However, it’s pretty well established convetion that you apply the greatest integer function when referring to someone’s age. If Stephanopoulos were interviewing the President, would he have asked him why he doesn’t know his daughter’s age? Would he have said, “She isn’t 13, Mr. President. She is 12.9, when you use the common convention of the greatest integer function, she is 12. You are right that she is your daughter.” Then Stephanopoulos would write a blog post titled, “Malia is 13? President Obama says Yes.”

    • minicapt

      A person’s age is based on number of birthdays. As of 3 Jul, Miss Malia will be a total of 12 years and 364 days old, but her age will remain at 12 Years until her 13th birthday, on the 4th. This would have been noted if the President had to enrol her in a sports league, or a new school, but he may have missed those signal occasions.
      I would point out that a lady is never 39 years old until the day of her acknowledged 39th birthday.