DC Trawler

Apocalyptic fringe cult still predicting the end of the world

Well, that’s just sciencey as all hell, ain’t it. Al Gore really has turned into Marshall Applewhite. Put on your black Reeboks, kids, and pass around the barbiturate-laced applesauce and vodka. We gotta save the planet!

You know what else can change in a day? One day you think you’re going to be the next President of the United States, and the next day your dreams are shattered forever. So you decide to appoint yourself President of the Earth, and for a while you get enough people with enough money to go along with you that it fills the black hole where your soul used to be. But then the fad passes and another glorious triumph is snatched from your grasp, so you have to resort to things like… well, see above.

The money’s good, though.