Op-Ed

Hannah Montana occupies the mouse that feeds her

Rick Robinson Author, Writ of Mandamus
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Finally, Occupy Wall Street has a voice.

After months of irrelevant banter and confusing rhetoric, someone is ready to lead. Different organizations have attempted to gain control of OWS, but now the destiny of the movement is clear. A voice for Occupy Wall Street has stepped up. It’s time is now.

Ladies and gentlemen … Miley Cyrus.

Yes, Miley Cyrus has offered her support for Occupy Wall Street. This week on her website, the social conscience of a generation released a video “dedicated to the thousands of people who are standing up for what they believe in.”

The video posted by Cyrus edits Occupy Wall Street video clips over her song “Liberty Walk” from the CD “Can’t be Tamed” — available at Best Buy (NYSE-BBY) for $9.99.

Someone needs to take Miley aside and explain to her that the only reason she is relevant is because she made a shitload of Wall Street dough off the “Hannah Montana” franchise, a fictitious corporate nom de plume created for her by Disney (NYSE-DIS). Without The Mouse’s creation of Hannah Montana — movie available at Target (AMEX-TDTF) for $8.19 — Miley Cyrus would be covering “Achy Breaky Heart” in the lobby of the Hampton Inn (NYSE-HIL) in Ashland, Kentucky.

I have no particular animosity towards Miss Cyrus. Last week at her nineteenth birthday party she admitted to being a “stoner.” This was following an earlier video of her smoking “legal” pot from a glass bong. For those of us who went to college in the ’70s — a generation one toke away from being an entire graduating class of Lindsay Lohans — her smoking habit is almost endearing.

Miley Cyrus’s support for Occupy Wall Street points out the absurdity of the entire protest. Back in June, M Magazine declared Miley Cyrus to be the richest teen in the world and placed her personal wealth at $120,000,000.00. That’s a lot of zeros for someone who wants to show support for people who hate greed.

Don’t blame Miley Cyrus for the hypocrisy of OWS. Just peruse the pictures from the various OWS locations. Participants in the Wall Street bash-a-thon are drinking Starbucks (NASDAQ-SBUX) coffee, talking on their Apple (NASDAQ-AAPL) iPhones and browsing the Internet on their Hewlett Packard (NYSE-HPQ) laptops.

The fact of the matter is the Occupiers — just like Miley Cyrus — are addicted to corporate America. The irony of people protesting greed while drinking $5.00 cups of coffee is priceless. The great philosopher, Pogo, once said, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” Of course, after he said that, Pogo was fired and is now living in a tent in Zuccotti Park.

The thought that protesters support the very system they despise must send a chill right through their North Face (NYSE-VFC) jackets and Ugg boots (NASDAQ-GS).

Somewhere in Seattle, Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks, is looking at a picture of a protester drinking a cup of his coffee and laughing his ass off.

Send your contributions c/o Elvis

On the same day the crown princess of Disney released her protest video, Elvis Costello did something that really mattered.

In a disagreement with his record label over the pricing of his newly released box set, “The Return of the Spectacular Spinning Songbook,” Costello asked his fans not to shell out the $225 asking price. “We at www.elviscostello.com find ourselves unable to recommend [it] as the price appears to be either a misprint or a satire.”

Costello goes on to recommend that his fans purchase the re-mastered works of Louis Armstrong. “Frankly the music is vastly superior,” he writes.

Elvis Costello is willing to take a financial hit for his views. It may be because when he was Miley Cyrus’s age he was working day jobs to help support his music career. His 1977 classic, “I’m Not Angry,” is about his job at Elizabeth Arden (NSDAQ-RDEN).

In the end, Elvis Costello’s simple post on his website had a real impact on corporate greed. Miley Cyrus’s video helped sell more Hannah Montana skateboards — available at Wal-Mart (NYSE-WMT) for $27.99.

The 15-minute time clock starts running on people like Miley Cyrus far too often. I’d rather know more about how Elvis’s record label responds. It all just makes my head hurt. I wonder if they have Hannah Montana aspirin at Walgreens (NYSE-WAG).

Rick Robinson is the author of political thrillers which can be purchased on Amazon and at book stores everywhere. His latest novel, Manifest Destiny has won seven writing awards, including Best Fiction at the Paris Book Festival.