1.) TIME Magazine: Smelly Protesters > SEAL Team 6 — Sorry SEAL Team Six, your excellent work killing America’s enemy number one wasn’t good enough for the editors at Time Magazine. Apparently, they were more enamored with smelly amorphous protestors, who they bestowed the title of Time Person of the Year on. TheDC’s Will Rahn reports:
“’The Protestor’ beat out runners-up House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan, dissident Chinese artist Ai Weiwei, and Osama bin Laden raid commander Adm. William McRaven. For some reason, British duchess Kate Middleton was also considered for Person of The Year. The magazine does not differentiate between the many protest movements the world has seen this year, declaring that ‘massive and effective street protest[s]’ have become ‘the defining trope of our times.’”
Perhaps SEAL Team Six should have worked just a little bit harder this year.
Can you say Occupy the Time Warner Building?
2.) Locked and Loaded
— The Daily Caller is proud to announce the launch of our new Guns and Gear section.
Some more pathetic online publications inundate their readers with new sections on subjects like Divorce. Not The Daily Caller. Like Newt Gingrich, we’re pro marriage.
As you are well aware, guns are awesome. So we will now be covering them incessantly. Be sure to check out our gun section regularly — or else.
3.) Blame Canada
— Unbeknownst to most Americans for understandable reasons, the U.S. actually has a neighbor to the north called Canada. TheDC’s Caroline May reports that the liberal oasis, “known for its welcoming immigration policies, is now prohibiting any face coverings during citizenship ceremonies in order to ensure that those taking the citizenship oath are actually reciting it.”“‘All we ask of people is to fulfill the requirements of citizenship and to swear an oath before one’s fellow citizens that one will be loyal to our traditions that go back centuries. This common pledge is the bedrock on which Canadian society rests,” May reports Canada’s Immigration Minister Jason Kenney explaining Monday. “That is why starting today, my department will require that all those taking the oath do so openly. From today, all persons will be required to show their face when swearing the oath.”You would think this is pretty reasonable, but surprise surprise, some people disagree.
4.) Watch out Romney — Newt’s got phones!
— In a move that will likely have Mitt Romney shaking in his Prada loafers — or perhaps Ferragamo driving shoes (I just can’t be sure) — Newt Gingrich ‘s unconventional campaign is picking up steam in New Hampshire, reports TheDC’s Alexis Levinson. They even got phones. Phones!“Until late last week, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich’s New Hampshire campaign headquarters had no landlines. The toilet seat in the ladies room is the wrong size for the toilet. On Tuesday when a Daily Caller reporter arrived, staffers were just setting up the computer system to run a phone bank.”Wowsers!
Perhaps even more worrisome, Newt’s volunteers like to question the utility of just about everything — which, apparently, is one of the reasons they refrained from purchasing landlines for so long.
5.) Newt’s a Blabbermouth
— Perhaps one reason Newt splurged on phone lines in New Hampshire is so he can run his blabbermouth. In an opinion column, TheDC’s Jamie Weinstein (ME!) makes the case that Newt has a bad case of verbal diarrhea that could hurt him if he doesn’t get it under control. For instance, his recent statement that the Palestinians are invented people. It may be true, but it is not necessarily something the president should be spouting. Weinstein writes:
“As president, Newt will likely have to deal with Palestinians — hopefully Palestinian leaders who are serious about peace, though don’t hold your breath. What’s the use of starting out by jabbing them on something that is completely inconsequential? It’s like starting a meeting with Chris Christie by noting that he is enormously fat. It’s true, but what purpose does it serve? Reagan spoke about an important moral truth, he didn’t point out irrelevant truths like that Russians drink too much vodka or that Gorbechev had a grotesque birthmark on his head. That would have been unproductive, don’t you think?”Ultimately, Weinstein concludes:“Should Newt win the nomination and ultimately the White House, he is destined to be either a wildly successful president or an unfathomably terrible one. He is not built to be just so-so. But in order for him to achieve the former and avoid unhelpful and unnecessary international incidents, it will be useful for him to get his hyperbolic blabbering problem under control.”
Say what you will about the Hulk and his drinking problems, the man — creature? — truly does have a way with words.