If you thought Rebecca Black’s “Friday” was the most hated piece of video since the invention of the Palmcorder, think again: As TheDC’s Will Rahn reported on — oh, SNAP! — last Friday, Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s “religious heritage” campaign ad, typos and all, has passed the teeny-bopper in YouTube “dislikes.” (It was the anti-gay line at the beginning of Perry’s campaign spot that brought all the angry clicks out of the woodwork.)
But neither Black nor Perry has the record for thumbs-down judgments from YouTubers: That dishonor, by a long shot, belongs to Justin Bieber’s “Baby.”
YouTube publishes a list of the most “liked” videos, but sadly ignores the hated ones. And chances are they’re all Bieber vids anyway. As that couldn’t possibly be interesting to anyone over 16, we were forced to put our own list together. Here, then, are The Daily Caller’s most disliked YouTubes.
Agree? Disagree? Make a video and tell us about it.
#10: These people need their heads examined
HeadOn is the perfect synergy of pointless homeopathic “medicine,” vague marketing claims, and annoying late-night TV ad delivery. Also, the product consists almost entirely of wax. It doesn’t really cure headaches, since its main “active” ingredients include a flower, a vine, and potassium dichromate — one of those nasty chemicals that made Erin Brockovich famous.
The irony, of course, is that while the advertiser blew $30 million on a campaign about a pain reliever you can “apply directly to the forehead,” the whole presentation gave plenty of Americans headaches.
#9: Crash-course by numbers
It probably sounded cool in the brainstorming meeting: using YouTube’s built-in “number keys” feature to simulate an “interactive” driving-course experience with an Audi A6. (To see what they were thinking, press the number keys from “1” to “0” while you watch any YouTube clip.)
The result, though, was unsatisfying. Which isn’t so bad as long as you don’t think about what a cool iPad game they could have made with about half the effort.
#8: This is the reason MTV doesn’t play music videos anymore
YouTube is chock full of candidates for the “worst music video in history,” so any choice we make is bound to be a winner. Our initial winner was “Electronik, Supersonik” — until we learned it was a pre-Borat spoof of Eastern European kitch.
So our first runner-up will have to take the crown. Meet Jan Terri, a semi-serious singer from the early ’90s who blended all the subtlety of Estelle Costanza with the classic refinements of the Heat Miser.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
#7: Maury Povich, we hardly knew ye
If you haven’t yet discovered the twisted sickness that is the Maury show, please tread lightly with this one. Or grab a rocket launcher and prepare for television fireworks.
The repulsive video below represents everything Maury Povich has done to depose Jerry Springer from his throne as the biggest televised idiot in history. In this clip, a 15-year-old girl brags to her horrified mother that she has had unprotected sex more than 300 times — including in public places and at school — because she wants to have a child when she’s 16.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWi3jGyyfRY#6: Leave Britney Alone!
If you still remember who Chris Crocker is, you really need to get out more. Britney Speaars is, like, so 1999. But Crocker’s 2007 video imploring the paparazzi to give Brit-Brit a break-break went viral (like the flu) and the rest is history.
Crocker, we were shocked to learn, has an entertainment career that goes beyond this solitary video clip. At least that’s what Wikipedia seems to think. But in our hearts, he’ll always be like David Frum without all that keen political insight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHmvkRoEowc#5: What what (in the hell?)
Samwell’s 2007 music video “What What (In the Butt) begins with a burning cross, but that’s not even the most bizarre part. After you’ve fully digested this chocolate truffle of unimaginable douchebaginess, click here to watch the 2008 South Park parody — starring the “Butters” character, of course.
Samwell sued Viacom and Comedy Central over the parody last year, and lost big-time. Pro tip for lawsuit plaintiffs: When a judge says your music video is “to be kind, of rather low artistic sophistication and quality,” and then says your legal case is “objectively unreasonable,” it’s not a good sign.
#4: Italian babies are born with hairy armpits and underwear
The 2007 Italian video “Parto in un letto” is, in a word, “pazzo.” It’s been viewed 320 million times, probably because its YouTube thumbnail image looks vaguely pornographic. And because no one in America can read Italian. (The title refers to natural childbirth in bed.)
The video itself consists of three probably drunken Italian guys simulating the delivery of a baby for 72 seconds. The guest of honor emerges from between two adjoining twin beds.
One YouTube commenter said it best: “Why did I click on this? … I want that minute of my life back so I can kill myself.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91rvea6mKEA#3: Cat + Pop-tart + Rainbow = Dumb
If you’ve never heard of the “Nyan Cat,” we hereby apologize for introducing you to this flying cartoon feline with a Pop-tart body who farts rainbows to the tune of a computerized Japanese pop song.
#2: Punking Pat Sajak just isn’t cool
Yes, we know sometimes an unfinished Wheel of Fortune puzzle can suggest some pretty racy stuff, and the occasional poop joke. But for some reason, 3.3 million people have watched a two-minute video of a Beavis & Butthead wannabee chuckling at the incomplete word “COUNTRY.”
This Rhodes scholar rolled back his DVR and videotaped the TV screen, complete with his own stifled giggles when Vanna revealed the letter “T,” to bring us this gem. When they find him, no amount of community service alongside Lindsay Lohan will be cruel enough.
#1: The worst rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner, ever
Yes, worse than Roseanne Barr in San Diego. Worse than Xtina Aguilera’s word snafu at the Super Bowl. Even worse than Michael Bolton’s performance with the lyrics written on his hand.
In this clip from the library of WDEF-TV in Chattanooga, Tenn., an unnamed law enforcement officer mangles the anthem at a ceremony to honor fallen policemen and troopers.
Words don’t do it justice. We’re betting this was some sort of disciplinary punishment — for the audience.
David is The Daily Caller’s executive editor. Follow him on Twitter