By now, you may have heard that Jay-Z has promised to stop using the word “bitch” in his lyrics because of his brand new baby daughter. (Presumably he’d still be fine with it if his first child had been a boy.) While it’s nice that he doesn’t want to be a misogynist anymore, this seems a bit short-sighted from an artistic perspective. What will he do in concert when it’s time to perform one of his biggest hits?
If you’re havin’ girl problems, I feel bad for ya, son
I got 99 problems, but… um… to twitch is fun?
Nah. Let’s see…
If you’re havin’ girl problems, I feel bad for ya, son
I got 99 problems and some fish on a bun
Maybe if he starts doing McDonald’s commercials.
Oh wait, I know!
If you’re havin’ girl problems, I feel bad for ya, son
I got 99 problems, but the dishes are done
There you go. Not only is it a “dope” rhyme, but it’ll keep Beyonce off his back about doing his chores. You know how those bit… er, strong, sophisticated modern women can be!