Good morning, dummy. How are you today, stupid? Besides being a moron, I mean. Well, I’m sorry to hear that, dimwit, but there’s good news: The smart people are here to save you from your own bad decisions! LiveScience.com:
A spoonful of sugar might make the medicine go down. But it also makes blood pressure and cholesterol go up, along with your risk for liver failure, obesity, heart disease and diabetes.
Sugar and other sweeteners are, in fact, so toxic to the human body that they should be regulated as strictly as alcohol by governments worldwide, according to a commentary in the current issue of the journal Nature by researchers at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF).
The researchers propose regulations such as taxing all foods and drinks that include added sugar, banning sales in or near schools and placing age limits on purchases.
You shouldn’t be allowed to make your own decisions, because you’ll probably make the wrong ones. You’re just a helpless victim. You have no control over the things you eat and drink, so the state needs to step in and be your nanny. Because that always works. Hey, the government has totally cured our addictions to alcohol and tobacco and everything else that’s bad for us, hasn’t it?
Just imagine Prohibition all over again, except this time with sugar. Who would become the Lucky Luciano of licorice? The Al Capone of cupcakes? Ha ha, just kidding. Everybody’s just waiting to be told how to live their lives, and there’s no way they’d resort to a black market to get what they want…