To the dismay of just about everyone everywhere, Michele Bachmann announced on Wednesday that she will not join the cast of “Dancing With The Stars” for the next season.
“In full disclosure,” Bachmann said in a statement, “I did win a polka dancing competition when I was in the tenth grade … But, despite my tenth grade polka success and my lifelong love of ballroom dancing, the recent rumors are false. I will not be joining ‘Dancing with the Stars.'”
Instead, Bachmann said she will devote her time to “creating more private sector jobs” and activities that are far less interesting than DWTS, like repealing healthcare and working to cut government spending. (RELATED: Herman Cain will not dance with the stars, either)
With Bachmann and Herman Cain having disappointed the masses, we can now only hope that Tim Pawlenty, Jon Huntsman or Rick Perry will step up to the plate and give us the replay of the Republican primary we’re all pining for.
Illustrious alumni of DWTS include The Daily Caller’s very own editor-in-chief, Tucker Carlson.