TheDC Morning: You’ve heard of the A-Team, meet the F-team

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1.) You’ve heard of the A-Team, meet the F-team  — Someone let Sheriff Joe Arpaio out of his cage. America’s most famous sheriff apparently assembled a “posse” to investigate the authenticity of President Obama’s birth certificate. On Thursday they held a press conference to deliver some of the preliminary results of their inquiry. TheDC’s Steven Nelson reports:

“In his closing remarks, Arpaio lectured the media, saying that ‘the investigation is not over’ and that his effort should not be characterized as ‘pointless’ or ‘silly.’ ‘These are two alleged crimes,’ said Arpaio, ‘forgery and fraud.’  Those crimes, he added, are felonies — and ‘those responsible, whoever they are, should be brought to justice.’ ‘We dont know who the perpetrators are,’ admitted Arpaio. But the ‘posse’ claims to have identified at least one potential person of interest.”

How could anyone possibly consider the Arpaio posse investigation as pointless and silly? It’s obviously asinine and pathetic.

2.) Occupy Stupidity — The Occupy movement is obsessed with its patented consensus decision making process, which is simultaneously one of the most hilarious, unproductive and downright stupid processes ever conceived by man. But when the liberal Ben & Jerry’s founders said their money would not be divvied out that way, things turned a bit contentious at an Occupy meeting, TheDC’s David Martosko reports:

“But when [Ben and Jerry’s co-founder Jerry] Greenfield explained to the occupiers assembled in the sanctuary of the West Park Presbyterian Church how little control they would have over the funds his group was raising, their mood quickly turned from supportive to hostile … ‘I think it’s absolutely essential that your donors have zero say in where the money goes,’ said Linnea Palmer Paton, an audience member. ‘Right now we have a system where the wealthy design, create, build and have control over what happens. And I think it’s very important that the wealthy do not have that power.’”

Yes, it is a much better idea that a group of college radicals, bums and aged hippies come together and decide how to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars. How could that possibly backfire?

3.) Andrew Breitbart, RIP — The inimitable Matt Labash pays a fitting tribute to his friend Andrew Breitbart, who passed away far too early on Thursday:

“As a partisan warrior and a guerilla theater aficionado – half right wing Yippie, half Andy Kaufman (his Twitter picture at the time of his death was a Jesus-sighting style imprint of his face on a piece of toast) – he made it his vocation to make people crazy. Whatever detractors say, or more likely, whatever they spray, Breitbart clearly excelled at his job.”

Read the whole thing. Now. And after you do, read another great tribute by Tucker Carlson.

4.) Santelli sounds a warning — CNBC’s Rick Santelli suggests the U.S. smarten up on energy lest we become a third-world country. TheDC’s Jeff Poor reports:

“Santelli explained why energy is an important part of the vitality of the economy and a successful economy means higher energy usage. ‘Our society, our culture — the greatness of America — goes hand-in-hand with energy, and our leaders need to wake up,’ Santelli said. ‘We need energy, OK? And if they want to turn into a third-world country where there is absolutely no pollution whatsoever. And I think we need to be good to the planet, but we need to be more honest — do we want to be a superpower that uses energy and tries to do it wisely, or do we want to put our head in the sand and think that these technologies that are noble, that I have been talking about since I was in grammar school debating solar and geothermal. They’re not ready…'”

5.) Poll of the day — RealClearPolitics polling average of Tennessee GOP presidential primary: Rick Santorum 39%, Mitt Romney 19.5%, Newt Gingrich 13%, Ron Paul 13%.

6.) BIRTHDAYS! — Former Texas and Tennessee Gov. Sam Houston turns 219; Dr. Seuss turns 108; author Tom Wolfe turns 81; author John Irving turns 70 (h/t Owen Meany).

VIDEO: Tucker remembers Breitbart on Fox News

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