Here are the top 10 Fourth of July tweets. If we’re honest, they could be better. But so it goes:
10.) RainnWilson: Happy Birthday USA! If we’d never rebelled against England we’d all be playing soccer, driving on the left side & watching the UK Office.
9.) David Burge: You’re not a real American if you didn’t break at least 3 EPA rules today.
8.) Ken Jenning: Celebrating the 4th of July in Sweden, like most effete liberals. Just saw Sean Penn at the grocery store buying biscotti & a box of milk
7.) Jim Antle: This guy blasting “Imagine there’s no countries” outside realizes today’s not May Day, right?
6.) CJ Ciaramella: I’m glad “America” is based on that guy’s first name. Because shouting “VESPUCCI!” on the Fourth just wouldn’t be the same.
5.) OldHossRadbourn: Fire works are more enjoyable if you attach a Brit to them.
4.) Bill Simmons: 4th of July is like one super-slow home run trot around the bases as the English stare us down from the mound. Suck it England! (Typo-free)
3.) Eli Lake: Dear United Nations General Assembly, Today would be a good day to draft that “Thanks America” resolution you never write. Yours, Americans
2.) Eli Braden: My 3-year-old son keeps calling it “Forch of July”. Unfortunately there are no adoption centers open today
1.) rob delaney: BAD NEWS: I blew my hands off with fireworks. GOOD NEWS: I will save money on mittens this winter.