Herman Cain probably did not make a sex tape with Kim Kardashian in the restroom of a Pizza Hut.
But a far-fetched lawsuit filed on June 29 alleges that the plaintiff, “Jonathan Kimberly,” witnessed the former Godfather’s Pizza CEO and reality TV maven making a sex tape in a Pizza Hut restroom in Shreveport, La.
Kimberly is seeking a restraining order because he claims that Cain, who was at the Pizza Hut to “taste test his arch rival,” pelted him with breadsticks, and the reality star hit him in the face with a pan pizza “straight out of the [o]ven.”
The plaintiff also claims that Kourtney, the eldest Kardashian, is pregnant with Cain’s child and that Cain gives the reality TV family unlimited gift certificates to Godfather’s Pizza, as well as $9,999 per month — a creative allusion to Cain’s 9-9-9 tax plan — and is therefore violating campaign finance laws.
In perhaps the most incredible sentence ever written in a legal document, Kimberly claims that he needs a “restranging” order because “Herman Cain told me he is going to bury me alive in Tombstone Pizza”.
A spokeswoman for Cain told The Daily Caller that he had not formally been served with papers, and therefore could not comment on the case.
The legal blog Lowering the Bar first uncovered the lawsuit and made the connection that “Jonathan Kimberly” is probably Jonathan Lee Riches, a former inmate at Federal Medical Center in Kentucky. Riches has a habit of filing absurd lawsuits against public figures, including Britney Spears, Martha Stewart and former President George W. Bush. His lawsuits are almost always in all-caps, are very short and involve people with varying levels of fame.
Riches was incarcerated for wire fraud and passed his time in the clink by filing lawsuits around the country, and has reportedly filed over 2,300. He has continued to fabricate amusing stories even after his release on April 30 of this year, and is most likely the gentleman behind a lawsuit filed in West Virginia last month that claims Kim Kardashian is an al-Qaida operative.
It is unclear if these lawsuits are works of Riches’ imagination, or if his mental health status has something to do with them.