DC Trawler

DNC: Deserted, No Crowds

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Where has the summer gone already, right? But if you haven’t had a chance to relax and get away from it all, it’s not too late. You can still book a ticket to a secret hideaway, away from the hustle and bustle. Someplace quiet. Someplace with nobody else around.

NY Post:

Top aides on President Obama’s re-election team are terrified that there will be scores of empty seats when he makes his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention, party insiders said.

Obama, once the biggest draw in politics, won’t likely attract crowds as large as those at the 2008 convention because voters have gone sour on the poor economy, insiders said.

“It’s always a concern about making sure there aren’t empty seats, but this is different,” said one Democratic official familiar with the convention plans…

“They’re worried they can’t fill the stadium,” the official said.

As a result, Democrats have taken steps to make the convention open to more people, not just party loyalists and donors.

In June, the party announced a contest in which participants have a chance to go to the convention for just $5.

The only problem is that it costs five bucks. How about they pay you five bucks to go? Hey, five bucks is five bucks. Especially these days.

If they still can’t find enough people who want to sit and listen to Obama drone on and on about a bunch of stuff that isn’t true, they could always hire one of those Hollywood companies that provides lifelike inflatable dummies for crowd scenes:

And the best part is, they’re every bit as well-informed as your average Democrat! And you can register them to vote as many times as you want.

P.S. Still not interested? Howzabout we sweeten the deal. Can you say… Jimmy Carter? AWWWWWW YEAHHHHHH!!!