Ask Matt Labash

Ask Matt Labash: Dare not to dream — an anti-political rant

As stated before, I’m generally predisposed toward Republicans. Not because I like them, particularly. Nor am I the kind of partisan purist who refuses to believe that Republicans, on balance, aren’t  just as cliché-spouting, power-hungry and demagogic as Democrats. Because they are. (Well, maybe not this year. ) What tilts the balance for me is that all things being equal, Republican dysfunction is preferable to Democratic dysfunction because while both teams repeatedly demonstrate their ability to bung things up, Republicans typically take less of your money while doing so. In that sense — I try to take my temperamental conservatism seriously. Except for my public library system, my road paving crews, and my military, I retain not a hatred, but a natural distrust of most government, not just the side I voted against. Call that nihilism if you’d like. I call it assessing the evidence. If you find a political savior, give him my best. But in four decades on this earth, I’ve yet to make one’s acquaintance.

So to answer your question — is it civically responsible to have no interest in every hiccup, half-truth, and outrage of the day from the belching fire hose of endless, tiresome and often pointless campaign blather? Of course it is. On November 6, hold your nose and vote your conscience, such as it is. But feel free to skip the pre-game show. Unless you’re some swing-state halfwit, your mind isn’t going to be changed. And in all likelihood, you’re not changing anyone else’s. Better for you to go on about your business, leading a full, productive, largely politics-free life in the months before Election Day, instead of being that guy sitting in his own filth in his family room, crushing cheese puffs underfoot while  screaming like a howler monkey at  MSNBC. Your vote is going to have just as much carry as his. (Which if you live in my politically lopsided state, Maryland, is to say not much.) But you’ll be happier, saner, and won’t smell as badly. Your blood pressure will be lower. And perhaps most important of all, you won’t have to endure Touré.

Matt Labash is a senior writer with the Weekly Standard magazine. His book, “Fly Fishing With Darth Vader: And Other Adventures with Evangelical Wrestlers, Political Hitmen, and Jewish Cowboys,” is now available in paperback from Simon and Schuster. Have a question for Matt Labash? Submit it here.