Opinion

New York’s all right if you like saxophones (and Islamists)

Photo of Christopher Bedford
Christopher Bedford
Managing Editor

This week was the most embarrassing week to be a smart American in at least two weeks. And it pretty much all has to do with New York City — a wretched hive of scum and villainy that is usually pretty boss in our book, unless it has anything to do with the U.N. or that insufferable liberal and her pink spray paint (or, more specifically, the cowards who run the subway).

Let’s start with that insufferable woman, though. (RELATED: Woman spray-painting anti-jihad ads in NYC shocked at arrest [VIDEO])

So, a lady named Mona — as if that isn’t a hint that this is about to get annoying — takes to Twitter to announce her grand spray paint jihad on some subway ad that called jihadists “the savage.” On her blog, Mona claims the title of expert on all things Muslim, and given her fashion sense and understanding of private property rights, we believe her. So anyways, lady is flipping out about this poster, so she decides to spray paint all over the words, as if that isn’t illegal. Ya know, she’s just spray painting in New York like it’s not something they cut your hands off for (she’s an expert on this shit, right?). Well, enter some other other kind of annoying lady who actually knows it’s illegal, and before you know it, homegirls are having an old-fashioned spray paint fight. The cops are all over it, arresting insufferable #1 and carting her off to Azkaban.

And we all lived happily ever after.

Except we didn’t. Because Mona won, and the board of the Metropolitan Transit Authority unanimously decided to change their policy to ban ads they “reasonably [foresee] would imminently incite or provoke violence or other immediate breach of the peace.” That’s politically correct jargon for ads they think will piss off Islamists. Yeah — the guys who are so tightly wound they blow themselves into chunky kibbles to get a girlfriend(s). That’s who New York is worried about offending.

In the words of Muhammadan Mona, “This is what happens in America when you express yourself!”

Enter President Barack Obama. Remember when this guy announced that his apotheosis marked “a new beginning between the United States and Muslims around the world, one based on mutual interest and mutual respect, and one based upon the truth that America and Islam are not exclusive and need not be in competition”? Well he’s got an update: Forget the next American century, “The future,” he told the United Nations, “must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam.”

That’s right. The future belongs to moaning Mona and all her liberal buddies, and if America isn’t afraid of them (and they should be), they have a whole savage army that’s down to start throwing bombs and sawing off heads if they don’t get their way. Pretty much the civilizational equivalent of bratty child meets beatnik parents: A terrible recipe for the future on an individual level, not to mention societal.

So the next time some skinny punk jacks your scooter because mommy and daddy let him do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted and yelled at people who tried to rein that child in, imagine Mona, imagine our president, and imagine that bratty child as an entire oil-rich region and that tantrum as terrorism. Almost makes us want to get a windmill, though that cash would just go to the Chinese, and that’s a whole other barrel of laughs.

Oh, and speaking of entitled little brats, remember when that campus cop was watering those sidewalk-blocking hippies protesting money and greed? They just accepted a $1 million settlement.

Probably going to drink a fifth of absinthe this weekend.

Looking forward to next week.

Follow Christopher on Twitter