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 "The Lizard King: The Shocking Inside Account of Obama's True Intergalactic Ambitions by an Anonymous White House Staffer"   

The Lizard King, Osama bin Laden and Pakistan

Anonymous
"Former White House Staffer"

“Welcome to the Federally Administered Tribal Region of Pakistan,” the colonel said, greeting me in the airport.

He was short, stocky, and sporting a gray beard. If you squinted your eyes you might have thought he was the Most Interesting Man in the World.

“We don’t have a lot of time. Follow me,” he said.

We got in the colonel’s car and he began to weave a tale as he drove.

“In 1979 the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan. It inflamed the Muslim world. Jihadists from around the world poured into Peshawar. They would help the Afghan mujahideen liberate their country from the godless invaders. The Arabs among them came to be known as the Arab Afghans. You will have heard of some of them: Osama bin Laden, Ayman al- Zawahiri,” he said with a wry smile.

“They were all here to help facilitate the support for the Afghan campaign.”

After a few minutes, we stopped in front of a run-down compound. The windows were broken, bullet holes riddled the exterior and part of one wall was completely collapsed.

We got out of the car. The colonel continued his soliloquy.

“In the 1980s with the help of Palestinian radical Abdullah Azzam, bin Laden founded the Maktab Khadamat al-Mujahidin al-’Arab, otherwise known as the Afghan Services Bureau. From here, they coordinated Arab fighters for the Afghan jihad. What you are looking at is its headquarters. This is where the Arabs planned their role. This is where the Arab fighters who flowed into Pakistan in transit to Afghanistan stayed. This is where American enemy number one Osama bin Laden lived for much of the 1980s.”

I cut him off. “That’s all interesting, Colonel. But what does this have to do with Obama?”

“I was just about to get there,” he said.

“In 1981, we know Barack Obama traveled to Pakistan. But he never wrote about it in his book. He rarely talks about it, certainly never in detail. What was he doing here?”

The colonel then ushered me forward. He pushed open the door with his shoulder. The air was musty. But it was like we entered a time capsule. It was obvious that very few people, if any, had been in this place in years. And yet it looked as if those who had once resided there just left for a moment. Korans, pictures, and papers were scattered about.

The colonel led me to a corner.

“What Obama was doing here was joining the Afghan jihad. Yes, the politically astute know that Obama visited Pakistan in 1981. What most don’t know is that he spent most of his college vacations here and all his vacations as a community organizer. Barack Hussein Obama joined the Afghan jihad as Osama bin Laden’s American apprentice.”

The colonel then pointed to a picture hanging on the wall. It was of Obama and bin Laden. Obama was sporting the college Afro we often see in pictures from his college days. Bin Laden had his arm around him and they were smiling. As I looked more closely at the other pictures in the compound, there were many more of Obama. There was Obama and bin Laden drinking tea together, giving each other high-fives, holding a dead goat, and wielding shoulder-fired missiles, the kind that ultimately helped the Afghans defeat the Soviets. There was even one where the two were playing what appeared to be a version of pin the tail on the donkey but instead of a pin they seemed to be using a knife and instead of a donkey there was a picture of Salman Rushdie.

“I thought the fatwa on Rushdie was issued in 1989,” I said. “And why would a Sunni outfit like al-Qaida listen to a fatwa from a Shia cleric?”

“Iran and al-Qaida have always had a connection. And blasphemy is blasphemy,” the colonel explained. “As for 1989, it was a jihadi reunion. It was their last time together at the compound, as far as I can tell.”

I looked a little closer at some of the pictures. Besides bin Laden and Obama, a lady was present in many of them. She looked familiar.

“Valerie Jarrett,” the colonel said. “She often traveled with him to the compound. She is said to be the only woman bin Laden ever allowed into the Shura council meetings.”

Before I could process what he said, the colonel then pointed me to a book. Inside were a few pages of Arabic text and then a multitude of signatures. One of them was Obama’s.

“No terrorism expert believes that al-Qaida began earlier than the end of the 1980s as the Afghan jihad was winding down. Many believe it began much later and some don’t think al-Qaida as a formality ever really existed. But they are all wrong. What you are looking at is the founding papers of al-Qaida from 1986. The Arabic text lays out al-Qaida’s principles. Those signing the document were also swearing an oath of allegiance—Bay’ah, in Arabic—to the group’s leader, Sheikh Osama. As you can see, Obama was among them.”

I stood there for a moment taking it all in. I went over to the pictures again and examined them. They looked real. I snuck one of them in my pocket so I could further examine it back in the States.

The colonel then said we ought to leave. He had a flight to Abu Dhabi to catch.

On the drive to the airport, the colonel broke down what it all meant.

“There are limits to what all this information tells us. We know that Obama was a Muslim. I would presume he still is. Is he still a radical? Does he still consider bin Laden his leader? I can’t say. But he certainly did.”

We drove the rest of the way in silence. I’m a pretty hard-nosed guy. In my line of work, you have to be. I had seen some pretty fucked-up skeletons locked deep in the closets of the various candidates I was tasked with destroying. But nothing like this. Nothing.

I just didn’t want to believe what he was showing me. It was too ludicrous. How do you explain what you saw to someone else and not have them think you should be institutionalized? But how could I rationalize the photos away?

When we arrived at the airport, the colonel told me to meet him in Moscow in two weeks.

“We’ve only just begun this journey,” he said.

From THE LIZARD KING by Jamie Weinstein and Will Rahn Copyright © 2012 by Jamie Weinstein and Will Rahn. Reprinted courtesy of Broadside Books, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.

You can buy the book in many different e-formats at HarperCollins.com, or directly for your Kindle at Amazon.com or for your Nook at BarnesandNoble.com.

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