The worst Obama celebrity endorsements [SLIDESHOW]

Author Dave Eggers’ “90 Days, 90 Reasons,” an online collection of mini-essays by the famous and semi-famous celebrating the presidency of Barack Obama, may be even more insufferable than it sounds. Our friend Mike Riggs has already done a solid job cataloging some of the propaganda website’s most cringeworthy moments, but given the amount of just godawful content over there, we thought we’d step in to help raise awareness of this self-righteous monster of a project’s greatest hits.

Here now are the 10 worst moments of “90 Days, 90 Reasons,”  perhaps the best reason we’ve seen to vote Republican in 2012.

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  • Insufferable singer Jack Johnson loves Obama because Obama loves the environment and, worryingly, hugging Jack Johnson. Best line: "I’ve met President Obama twice, and both times he gave me a hug, not a handshake"
  • Comedian Reggie Watts is a genuinely funny guy who doesn't really bother to say what Obama has done or will do to make anything better. Best line: "He has the power fo three eagles"
  • Director David Lynch's argument for Obama makes about as much sense as "Twin Peaks" and isn't nearly as original or entertaining.  Best line: "If you just rearrange a few letters, Romney becomes R MONEY"
  • Julia Alvarez, who apparently is a writer is voting for Obama because he's some kind of warrior-poet word shaman. Best line: "I'm voting for Obama because he says what we need to see skillfully, beautifully"
  • Humorsit John Hodgman's essay is at least one of the more straightforward of the 90 reasons. Best line: "I will reveal here that I am going to vote for Obama, and I hope he wins, and here is the reason: I LIKE WINNING"
  • Native American author Sherman Alexie's argument is almost winningly pessimistic. Best line: "I don't care nearly as much about that as I care about what he has not done to Indians"
  • "Eat Pray Love" author Elizabeth Gilbert's love letter to/statist rant in favor of President Obama is equal parts nutty and gross. Best line: "Look to your leader, and emulate his behavior"
  • "My Morning Jacket" singer Jim James' post is called "Barack Obama is not a robot", and while most celebrities at least try to make an argument, James just tells the story of the time he met the president. Best line:  "It was FREEZING cold outside but obviously everyone was excited at the prospect of meeting the PREZ"
  • Jesse Eisenberg's post arguing that Obama is great because he likes to travel is marvelously out of touch. Best line:  "I'm travelling through Mongolia and currently staying in a yurt."