The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

Long Islanders face third week without power; George W. Bush still in hiding

Unfortunately for hurricanes, Barack Obama just got reelected. He’s definitely going to stop global warming, which may or may not be something that causes hurricanes. (It doesn’t, but shut up.) Therefore: Bye-bye, hurricanes. Oh, you thought you were so great, whooshing around like you owned the place. But you didn’t count on Obama!

Still, some of the people who got hit by the final hurricane in human history are still whining and complaining just because they “don’t have any electricity,” and they’re “hungry” and “cold,” and on and on. As Emperor Bloomberg points out: “People are always gonna want to get as many things as they want, as fast as they can.”

Yet they persist, as CBS News reports:

As the power outages on Long Island drag on, New Yorkers railed Sunday against the utility that has lagged behind others in restoring power, criticizing its slow pace as well as a dearth of information…

“We sleep with insulated underwear, sweatpants, sweatshirts and three quilt covers,” said Marilyn Cashdan from Baldwin Harbor. “No one cares about us…”

On Sunday Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano visited with disaster-relief workers in Staten Island’s Midland Beach neighborhood, which is still devastated two weeks after Sandy hit.

Napolitano said “a lot of progress” had been made since the storm hit and especially since her last visit 10 days earlier. “It seems like a different place,” she said. “You can really tell the difference.”

Whew! Heck of a job, frowny.

And how is the Greatest President in the History of Everything rewarding himself for a job well done? As Daniel Halper reported on Saturday:

President Barack Obama is spending his first Saturday after winning reelection on the golf course. Today’s outing is to the course on Andrews Air Force Base.

“Motorcade arrived at Andrews Air Force Base at 11:01 am after an uneventful ride,” the pool report reads. “President Obama is playing golf with three White House aides: Eugene Kang, Joe Paulson and trip director Marvin Nicholson, according to a White House official. Pool is holding at the Andrews fast food court for the next few hours.”

Obama has already golfed four times more than George Bush did in eight years. Which might be a problem if Obama wasn’t four million times as awesome. Or is it four billion? Well, if Obama doesn’t keep track of such minor details, neither should we.

One of the tough lessons all the wingnuts and teabaggers aren’t smart enough to learn from Election 2012 is that polls are always right when the Democrats win. With that in mind, take a look at this Fox News* exit poll:

(Hat tip: Hot Air)

Seems pretty clear to me: Obama won because he kicked Sandy’s ass.

Sure, over 100 Americans have died, over 120,000 homes and businesses still don’t have power, and there’s the usual looting and chaos and whatnot. Well, those crybabies can just warm themselves in the glow of Obama’s smile.

It certainly worked for Chris Christie.

*I know, I know. Fox News. Still, it’s a poll!

P.S. Brooklyn citizens feel abandoned after Hurricane Sandy. Well, they should’ve thought about that before they voted for Bush.