The Daily Caller

The Daily Caller

“What, me Marxist?”

I’ve been trying all day to put into words how stupid the smear campaign against Papa John’s founder John Schnatter is. The left has been screaming at him all week for daring to point out that Obamacare is going to drive up costs, prices are going to increase, and workers are going to suffer. They’re acting like that’s his fault. They’re acting like they know how to run his business better than he does, after he’s spent the last 30 years building it. He started off delivering pizzas out of the kitchen of his dad’s bar, and he’s turned it into the third-largest pizza chain in the country.

But never mind that. Our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters on the left know best. It’s not fair that he has more money than you, just because he worked hard and took risks and made good decisions. See, in America, you’re only allowed to reach a certain level of success. Unless, of course, you spout leftist rhetoric. Then you have a free pass to do whatever you want.

Well, the fine folks at Mad Magazine — which is still a thing, apparently — saved me the trouble of explaining how ridiculous this whole mentality is. At first I thought they were satirizing moronic leftists, but no, I’m pretty sure this is sincere:

Way to go after that greedy capitalist, guys. Hey, quick question: Why isn’t Mad Magazine 10 cents anymore? Why are you so greedy? Also, everybody in your office makes the exact same amount of money, right? If not, why not?

I know, I know, it’s only Mad Magazine. And it’s only free-market capitalism. And it’s only America. Whatever.