After Hostess announced Friday that a protracted labor union battle would force it to close its factories , many red-blooded Americans cowered in fear over the extinction of their beloved Twinkies, Zingers and Ho Hos.
Twinkie junkies are still in luck, however: Boxes of the barely edible snack foods are already selling on eBay.
One box of Twinkies has a starting bid of $49.99, with a “buy it now” price of $89.99.
The description on the item (read as urgently as if you were reading the Titanic disaster telegram): “HOSTESS IS GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SO GET THESE WHILE YOU CAN. STORES ARE ALREADY SEEING THESE FLY OFF THE SHELVES AND SOON YOU WILL PAY A PREMIUM FOR THESE.”
A box of Ho Hos is being sold for $59.99, while a 48-pack of Zingers is going for $43.
One trickster claims to have “the last Twinkie in the heartland” and the single dessert has a starting bid of $50, but you can buy it right now for $5,235.
Other sellers are taking more modest approaches with starting bids from $11 to $15.
The best eBay listing so far comes from a seller who wants to give away his last 10-count box of Twinkies for $595 — but there’s a catch: There are only four cakes left because the seller “got into them this morning.” But how can you go wrong with an expiration date of 12-02-2057?