Lindsay Lohan is waiting to win an Oscar before she adopts a son

Lindsay Lohan must have filled her water bottle with an extra shot of vodka Red Bull during her interview with Us Weekly, because it is seriously delusional. (RELATED: Lindsay Lohan on “Good Morning America”)

The actress, who is making her “comeback” with this week’s premiere of the Lifetime made-for-TV movie, “Liz & Dick,” (which The Hollywood Reporter called “an awful mess and an instant classic of unintentional hilarity”) talked to the magazine about her career, her troubles with the law and her future adopted son.

Let’s reality-check some of Lohan’s statements, shall we?

  • On her inability to find The One: “I’m not focused on that yet. I want to do a ton of movies first. After I win an Oscar, I can start thinking about love.” For the sake of her romantic life, let’s hope she lifts that self-imposed restriction. Upon a review of her upcoming projects (Lifetime’s “Liz & Dick,” the straight-t0-Netflix “movie” “The Canyons,” and a cameo in “Scream 5”), one can conclude that she is a shoe-in for at least one Razzie Award. 2013 will not be the year Lohan sweeps the Oscars, let’s be honest here.
  • On gaining Hollywood’s trust: “I think there are a lot of directors and producers who know I’m a good actress. I just want them to get past the misconception that I’m not reliable, because I am.” Lohan is so reliable, in fact, that she cancelled an interview with Barbara Walters last minute that was scheduled months in advance, and recently skipped out on a $45,000 bill at the Chateau Marmont, and raised hell on the set of “Scream 5.” These things should get producers to come a-runnin’.
  • Lohan would like to adopt a son — and by adopt, she must have meant “purchase on the black market” because there is no way in hell an adoption agency would give that woman a child.
  • Comparing herself to Elizabeth Taylor: “Elizabeth was drunk on sets. I’ve never been drunk on set, ever. I did my time and I respect the law.” She’s not counting all the times she’s been drunk on set.
  • On what she would tell her 16-year-old self:  “Don’t drink and drive. And be careful who you surround yourself with.” That is actually great advice, Lindsay! Try telling that to your 26-year-old self.

(Quotes via Celebitchy)

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