10 things better than going shopping on Black Friday [SLIDESHOW]

So you want to get a great deal on Christmas presents?  Well, the day after Thanksgiving is the biggest shopping day of the year — but it’s also the most dangerous.

In order to get the best deals, you have to voluntarily risk your life — which could easily be taken from you by getting shot or trampled to death — for the latest X-Box or whatever the kids are into these days. There is a reason it’s called “Black Friday” and not “Pink Friday” — it’s macabre out there.

Just about anything — anything at all — is better than going to the mall or local shopping center Black Friday. But we’ve narrowed the list down to 10, from putting together Ikea furniture to being forced to watch Hulk Hogan’s sex tape in its entirety.

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  • She WANTS you to think she's having fun, but she's not. Nobody wants to exercise the day after Thanksgiving, even though we all probably should. That's what Saturday is for.
  • We would rather watch Hulk Hogan's sex tape in its entirety than go to to a place where you buy things in exchange for money on Black Friday.
  • Think Spam is bad? So is getting pepper-sprayed in the face over "Call of Duty."
  • Ever been curious about what a needle in the eye feels like? Black Friday is the day to do it! It has to be better than getting trampled to death.
  • We would much rather watch paint dry than be at Target on Black Friday.
  • Putting Ikea furniture together is one of the worst activities on Earth. But it pales in comparison to the mall on Black Friday.
  • Sitting and facing a wall for hours and hours sounds like a way better idea than going to Toys R Us.
  • "Gigli" is widely considered to be one of the worst movies to have ever been made. But give us "Gigli" five times in a row over five minutes of Target on Black Friday.
  • We'd rather be forced to watch "Friday" on repeat than go shopping on Black Friday.
  • Give us a dentist appointment over Wal-Mart any day, but especially the day after Thanksgiving.

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