Politics

TheDC Satire: Sylvester Stallone for secretary of state

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Jamie Weinstein
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      Jamie Weinstein

      Jamie Weinstein is Senior Editor of The Daily Caller. His work has appeared in The Weekly Standard, the New York Daily News and The Washington Examiner, among many other publications. He also worked as the Collegiate Network Journalism Fellow at Roll Call Newspaper and is the winner of the 2011 "Funniest Celebrity in Washington" contest. A regular on Fox News and other cable news outlets, Weinstein received a master’s degree in the history of international relations from the London School of Economics in 2009 and a bachelor's degree in history and government from Cornell University in 2006. He is the author of the political satire, "The Lizard King: The Shocking Inside Account of Obama's True Intergalactic Ambitions by an Anonymous White House Staffer."

There is even a larger point here. One of the biggest issues today is poverty. To have a secretary of state who cannot only help explain how to start a movie industry in another country, but inspire hope by telling the tale of a down-on-his-luck boxer who went on to be champion of the world, is invaluable. Can John Kerry do that? Can Susan Rice do that? Tom Friedman’s choice, Arne Duncan, certainly can’t.

What’s more is that Stallone is actually more suited for the traditional role of secretary of state than you might imagine. What are three of the top hot spots in the world right now? Afghanistan comes to mind. So does Burma, where President Obama just visited. And Vietnam is at the center of the increasingly contentious South China Sea territorial disputes. Well, while it is unclear if Stallone has ever been to any of those countries in real life, as John Rambo he has visited and kicked ass in all of them.

And what better then having America’s finest fake Special Forces warrior organize the Syrian opposition into a coherent group, as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has tried to do. Do you think she was able to impart wisdom gleaned from launching fake counterinsurgencies in four — yes, FOUR — Rambo films?

In short, America is still number one, but we face unique challenges in the world at a time of Middle East upheaval and the rise of China. So while we’re not going to place one of our top 1980s action stars as secretary of state, let’s at least understand why it’s not such a preposterous idea.

Jamie Weinstein is the co-author, along with Daily Caller editor Will Rahn, of the satirical novel, “The Lizard King: The Shocking Inside Account of Obama’s True Intergalactic Ambitions By An Anonymous White House Staffer.” Buy it here.

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