Like to laugh? Like to be informed? Then sign up for TheDC Morning email here.
1.) Best. Speech. Ever! — Every day Congress is in session, members go to the House floor and pour their heart out, if not demagogue, on this matter or that matter, often to a near-empty chamber. But on Thursday, America was treated to the all-time greatest House floor speech. TheDC’s Caroline May reports:
“Georgia Democratic Rep. Hank Johnson — notable for saying he feared that Guam might capsize if it became too populated during a 2010 House Armed Services Committee hearing — apologized Thursday in a rambling floor speech for using the ‘m-word.’ According to Johnson, the ‘m-word,’ which he will never say again (though accidentally slipped in the middle of his apology), is ‘midget.’ ‘Last night I used an analogy that some find offensive, and I certainly was not meaning to be offensive or use a derogatory term,’ he said.”
Please — please! — do yourself a favor and watch the full video of this masterpiece by clicking on the article. You won’t regret it. If you do, we’ll give you your money back — all zero dollars of it.
2.) Rice-a-goni — U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Susan Rice will remain the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations. TheDC’s Jamie Weinstein reports:
“U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Susan Rice has withdrawn her name from consideration to replace Hillary Clinton as secretary of state. NBC News reports that Rice informed President Barack Obama of her decision in a letter, citing the strong opposition to her candidacy from Republicans on the Hill. ‘If nominated, I am now convinced that the confirmation process would be lengthy, disruptive and costly — to you and to our most pressing national and international priorities,’ her letter said, according to NBC News. ‘That trade-off is simply not worth it to our country. … Therefore, I respectfully request that you no longer consider my candidacy at this time.'”
Somewhere on his ultra-private Twitter account, John Kerry just tweeted: #winning.
3.) 2016 GOP primary fight begins — Perhaps previewing the 2016 GOP presidential primary, Rand Paul is already taking shots at Paul Ryan, reports The Daily Caller News Foundation’s Jim Antle:
“Add Rep. Paul Ryan to the list of House Republican leaders under fire for removing conservatives from key congressional committees. A fundraising email sent by Kentucky Republican Sen. Rand Paul urges supporters to sign a petition protesting the move, targeting the party’s 2012 vice presidential nominee and House Budget Committee chairman, as well as Speaker of the House John Boehner. … In an interview with libertarian radio talk show host Peter Schiff, Rand Paul seemed to suggest that Ryan’s presidential ambitions will suffer as a result. ‘I don’t know if any of these people want to run for president — maybe they’re going to have to explain why they wanted to purge people from their committees who believe in balancing the budget,’ Rand Paul said.”
4.) The not-so-long goodbye — They ran, they lost and soon they’ll be out on the street. TheDC’s Alexis Levinson reports:
“Go looking for the outgoing members of Congress in their offices, and you might find only the cleaning crew. Those members who lost their seats in November or decided to retire have already been evicted from their offices. Now, they work out of a series of numbered cubicles set up in what is usually a part of the cafeteria in Rayburn, a House office building, as they serve out the final weeks of their term. No longer do they have space for multiple staffers and several interns. Instead, said Eva Malecki, communications director for the Architect of the Capitol, which takes care of all the moving, the cubicles have ‘space for the member and a staffer or two.’”
They were once powerful. They were once somebody. Now, they work in a makeshift cubicle. That is, until they’re even booted from there.
6.) Today in North Korean News –BREAKING: “Kim Jong Il, Tender-hearted Father of People”