Education

UNC-Wilmington hires porn-loving English professor who writes sick poetry

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In a sign that the apocalypse will, indeed, be today, the English department at the publicly-funded University of North Carolina at Wilmington has recently hired a tenure-track professor who exuberantly peddles decadent smut that makes Penthouse Forum seem tame by comparison.

The randy professor, Alessandro Porco, has published two collections of generally obscene poetry, according to the Pope Center for Education Policy in Raleigh.

In an interview at the website PopMatters.com, Porco described his first book, The Jill Kelly Poems, as his “book-length ode to the adult-film star affectionately referred to as ‘the anal queen.'”

The hardcore collection apparently served as Porco’s Master’s thesis in the English Department at Concordia University in Montreal, Quebec

“The Jill Kelly Poems eulogizes a mythic, masculine self, cherishing a Bacchus-like existence while simultaneously coming to terms with its impossibility,” Porco relates in the book’s abstract.

Apparently, for Porco, “mythically masculine” means sitting around watching tons of sports and porn. It also entails seriously fetishizing anal sex.

Here’s a brief excerpt from one of the poems:

“Who would say No to a gang-bang?

Who would say No to Prof. Poon-Tang?

Who would say No to my scholarly toungin?

Thank you fathers for your daughters.”

That predatory verse comes from “Hot Girl-Girl Action University President Jill Kelly Welcomes This Year’s Freshman Class.”

Another lascivious ode in the collection is called “Did I Shave My Nuts For This?”

For an encore, Porco has penned Augustine in Carthage, and Other Poems. The title poem is a stream-of-consciousness outburst. According to Porco, it depicts a “trans-historical re-imagining of Book III of St. Augustine’s Confessions in present-day Montreal,” and conveys the “hypocrisy of spiritual conversion.”

Porco’s second book culminates with what he calls “21 of the filthiest limericks I could think to write.”

Still another of Porco’s gutter poems is called “Ménage à Bush twins.”

UNC-Wilmington’s English department obviously knew that Porco specializes in deliberate vulgarity throughout the hiring process.

Department chair Don Bushman said Porco was deemed the “most qualified” applicant for the assistant professor position, according to the Pope Center. There were “roughly 100 applicants.” Porco received his doctoral degree from the State University of New York at Buffalo.

Consequently, Porco was given a teaching job at at UNC-Wilmington, a public university (motto: “Dare to Learn”). Now, this pornographic poet is subsidized by North Carolina taxpayers.

Porco, who teaches a class called “Restoration and 18th Century Literature” at UNC-Wilmington, completed a doctoral dissertation entitled “Sound Off: Rhythm, Rhyme, and Voice in Hip-Hop.”

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Eric Owens