Daily Caller staffers reveal their New Year’s resolutions

Whether it’s starting a scooter gang, becoming slightly less awesome or drinking more American-made alcohol,  some Daily Caller staffers are spilling their 2013 New Year’s resolutions. (RELATED: TheDC’s 2012 New Year’s resolutions)

Jim Antle, editor, Daily Caller News Foundation: “My New Year’s resolution is to be the first person to go over the fiscal cliff in a barrel.”

Chris Bedford, associate editor and scooter owner: “I’m going to start a scooter gang for sure. Just haven’t decided if I’ll use my powers for good or evil yet.”

Taylor Bigler, entertainment editor: “I resolve to be more assertive when sending staff-wide emails. Reply to me or I will cut you.”

Vince Coglianese, senior online editor and perfect human being: “I love New Year’s resolutions. They’re the sole reason I become a better person each and every year. But as I inch closer to perfection, I’m beginning to lose options for my improvement. With that in mind, I intend to reverse direction, pick up a few bad habits and be prepared for a better answer next year.”

Sarah Hofmann, videographer and drinker of whisky: “1. Take up urban foraging (for substances legal and otherwise) 2. Write, direct, produce and film a feature-length documentary on the life of Nicholas Ballasy. 3. Stop drinking Canadian whisky to keep distilling jobs in America.”

Patrick Howley, reporter and cigarette critic: “To stop buying things just so the sales clerk will think positively of me.”

Matt Lewis: “Destroy the other Matt Lewises. Abandon campaign to bring Rex Ryan to Washington.  Persuade Lawson’s Deli to name a sandwich after me. Develop a killer get-out-the-vote app. (Don’t test it till Election Day 2016.)”

David Martosko, executive editor: “I plan to develop a miniaturized stealth drone that can fly into the MSNBC headquarters to learn why Al Sharpton is still on the air. I’m also going to hack into as many blogs as I can, just to fix their typos.”

Caroline May, reporter: “I’m resolving to no longer set my alarm for 4:30 AM, when I usually just end up hitting snooze for an hour and a half.”

Neil Patel, CEO: “I resolve to fire that washed up Carlson guy and put the whole operation in Taylor Bigler’s hands where it should be.” [Author’s note: Agreed. We’ll talk later.]