Four possibilities to replace John Boehner

“B1” Bob Dornan

Bob Dornan was one of the most colorful House members in history. And by colorful, I mean totally insane.

Known for making outlandish and offensive statements, the Vietnam vet became the butt of jokes.

So why bring him back to the House as speaker?

For starters, he’s unpredictable: You never know what might come out of his mouth. In one respect, this is a horrible quality in a speaker. But in another respect — well, it’s still a horrible quality for a speaker.

And yet, he would keep the opposition on its toes: His sheer nuttiness could make it difficult for Democrats in Congress and the White House to strategize against him.

Watch Dornan in all his glory on the House floor:

Joseph Kony

This may seem like a strange choice, but stay with me here: In 2012, a big international campaign was launched to raise awareness of the Ugandan war criminal with the hope that he would be tracked down and captured. Unfortunately, he remains at large.

So, you’re still wondering, why make him speaker of the House? Well, maybe if he’s appointed speaker he will actually come to Washington to assume the post. When he’s here, we can finally get him. And Republicans can declare a real policy success.

After that, back to the drawing board to find a new speaker.

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