No Oscars for these conservative masterpieces

Arbor Day: The Streets Run Green — Horror films are not usually considered Oscar material, but here’s one that may make the Academy remember the Exorcist glory days. The story begins with a Halloween-like flashback in which the masked attacker known only as “Al” suffers the trauma that will turn him into a lunatic run amok. Moments after being told he has won a presidential election, Al has the victory torn from his grasp when it turns out the Constitution does not give power to CBS News to declare the winner. Crazed with disappointment, Al goes on a rampage, trying to leave America’s energy production in a blood-soaked heap as he raves wildly about how the world will end if people don’t give him money to “offset their carbon footprint.” In the end, the monster is stopped by being buried under a hundred million petro-dollars from Al Jazeera, which buys Al’s cable TV station, bringing the madness to an end. For now … but you know horror movies. He’s sure to be back in the sequel.

While the Academy may have overlooked these masterpieces — and while California law enforcement officers may have thrown the filmmakers into a cell next to the guy who made the anti-Muhammad YouTube video — we still know we can always look to Hollywood for artists who will speak truth to power. As long as it’s not really truth and not really power.

See you at the movies. Unless you’re a Republican.

Andrew Klavan’s latest book is “A Killer in the Wind,” available from Mysterious Press, an imprint of Grove/Atlantic.