DC Trawler

We’re one step closer to making the White House a gun-free zone

Not long ago, I used to believe all that nonsense about how “guns don’t kill people, people kill people,” and “the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun,” and all that other ridiculous right-wing propaganda. But then President Barack Obama showed me the light: Guns are evil. Guns kill people. Guns kill children. Why does the NRA hate children? Why do all you teabaggers hate children?

Yesterday, President Barack Obama surrounded himself with young children as he patiently explained to you stupid wingnuts why guns are bad. It was long overdue.

Just look at their little faces.

That part was fine. He’s doing it for the children, after all. Don’t listen to any of the racists who keep talking about how he used those kids as “props,” whatever that means.

But here’s where I had to take issue with President Barack Obama: He brought those adorable little tykes into a building that was absolutely crawling with men carrying guns.

Guns.

Guns.

Clearly, something needs to be done about this. Everybody knows that guns don’t protect people. Guns don’t prevent crime, they cause crime. They’re not a deterrent, they’re a detriment. Guns make people do bad things. And President Barack Obama is surrounded by those things 24 hours a day! How in the world did we let this happen?

Just imagine the horror of having someone in a uniform carrying a gun in your child’s school. I know, right? What is this, Nazi Germany? And yet the most powerful man in the free world has dozens of such gun-toting menaces all over the place. It’s absolute insanity.

Studies show that you’re more likely to be injured or killed by a gun if you have one in the house. Well, how many guns are in the White House? What if one of those guns injures or kills somebody? How could you live with that on your conscience? We have to do something!

This is a good start:

The petition to make the White House a gun-free zone now has the required number of signatures for an official response, but feel free to sign it if you want to make your voice heard as well. We’re telling them that enough is enough.

So now, either the White House will do the right thing and keep all those lethal, crime-causing guns away from President Barack Obama and his family, or they’ll explain to us why they plan to keep putting people in danger.

I look forward to their response.

Update: A lot of people are still confused about this, so just to clarify: The new requirement of 100,000 signatures only applies to petitions started after this week’s announcement. This petition was started in December and only needs 25,000 signatures. Now it’s up to the White House to respond.

Update: Finally, somebody gets it!

Update: The original Wonkette, Ana Marie Cox, writes in the Guardian about who’s really to blame for gun violence:

So, what if the epidemic of gun violence in the United States isn’t about “assault weapons”, or criminals, or the mentally ill, but about us? You. Me. Everyone. Put a gun in our immediate vicinity, someone is going to get hurt. By accident, by intent, whatever. If we think of guns this way, then regulation becomes very simple: even “responsible”, “law-abiding” citizens probably shouldn’t have them.

Exactly. And there’s no better place to start, no better example to set, than the White House.